http://outofmy-senses.blogspot.com/ MY NEW BLOG! I'LL ONLY UPDATE THERE AND IF YOU WANT YOU DEFINITELY CAN COME AND VIEW MY PREVIOUS POSTS HERE. Thanks!

-Angeline

I love Sam Tsui!


Haven't blogged since I don't know when.
9 more days to my birthday! Not very excited but I am happy I'll be older and wiser and better than right now.
Actually there is no guarantee I'll be an improved Angeline but it's a promise I'll try my best.


My sister have a job, finally!
It's nearby our house, and the pay is great. She's enjoying her time at work too, thank God!
I when there yesterday night and her colleagues are so kind and nice! I fetched her home at 10.30pm. She was supposed to go at 8.30pm but then one of her colleague was sick so she had to work overtime to help.
So she told me about funny things that happened yesterday when she was working while we walk home, it seemed so fun! Maybe after my o levels I'll go work there too! Provided they are hiring.

She left for work at roughly 1pm today.
And I am using her computer. Hehe.


Holiday= me bankrupt.


We take risks every single day.
When we go out, we risk getting kidnapped, robbed and so much more.
When we make new friends, we risk getting betrayed.
But we trust, and take risks. Because life would be boring and meaningless if you don't go out there and get hurt. You won't appreciate happiness.


SO BORED. :/

I'm sorry, God. For disappointing you, again and again.

I'm sad because I disobeyed God. I procrastinated.



I just, really want my dream to come true.
Amount of energy I have for wanting to complete my dream can run around the whole Earth.
I tried everything but there are so many obstacles.
I prolly didn't try hard enough.
I prolly am too slow.
I need to keep praying. Hopefully God can feel my sincerity.

Amen.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO RACHEL ANG!

I went to the used textbook program today.
I feel very satisfied for helping people out today and helping myself too.
Reached home at approximately 3pm as it was raining heavily and had lunch/dinner after a nice bathe.


I feel guilty. But I know my situation and I sort of need it.
I mean, it is his fault but I do not want him to be punished.
I don't know, maybe I am a bad person.

Toodles people!

I will never be alone because God is here.





I didn't go to dance practice today because my back is hurting like... Crap.
I'm actually very scared that it might snap. So I will be resting for now. And I am just a reserve so I don't think I matter much in the dance.
Prolly need to get MC to prove but I have no idea how to get one for backache.
I will practice a little at home so I won't be the only one that doesn't know how to dance the steps.
I really am old.


Year 2010 will soon be history and I learn a lot in this year, and hopefully next year I will be more sensible and make better choices.

Turn up for all church services because when everybody doubts you, bullies you, give up on you, despise you, God always believe in you, care for you, not giving up on you and love you.

Study daily, and I know many people will not believe I would, but I will prove to them I can study hard and get good grades. I want everybody that bet I will not do well next year wrong, and to do my parents and God proud.

Make a schedule and stick to it.

Love my enemies, love people that stayed even when I made wrong choices and was despised by almost everyone more.

Studies are more important than recreations.

Putting everything behind studies, family and, most importantly, God.

Learn to appreciate people and things that I have more.

The list goes on and on. Too much to list.
I have a lot to do today. Hopefully I will complete it all in time.


I will never be alone because God is here.

OM NOM NOM NOM NOM!
HAI. I am Angeline and I love my sister's prom dress.
I couldn't take a nice picture of it because I am a lousy photographer. I have no talent.


I on my computer few moments ago and it is 7.33pm now.
Nothing much happened and hopefully nothing bad will happen during the whole of december holiday.

Guess what? I have new FB profile picture!
Credits to Fiona for taking the picture and adding effects to the picture!


I went to dance today and it was raining and I did not bring an umbrella so I ended up being soaked during dance class and I am so glad to have a nice warm bath when I reach home. After I was out of the shower, mom bought me rice and it was scrumptious. Thanks, ma! Then I stayed in moma's room and listen while she sing. She just went out a while ago. Dad's watching tv and laughing. Pretty nice!


Putting in effort to reach success.

I'm not sure about life, about love, about you.

Hey y'all!
I went to Northpoint and bought 2 new shirts and a necklace from Cotton On. :)

I'll be having dance practice on tuesday, wednesday, thursday and friday. What kind of holiday is this.
We are training for SYF and I think everybody will be involved.
Also, we are training for Secondary 1 orientation to attract more students to join Chinese Dance. Only some people are involved and I am extremely glad I was not chosen because I rather sit around and look at them practice. :X
I actually suck at dancing so most of the time I am not chosen.


I really don't like it when people are negative and upset. I know I have been put in those situations when you really don't feel like living anymore and you feel useless and a burden. I get it when you find "burden shared is burden halved" bullshit and that it should actually be "burden shared is burden doubled" due to loads of reasons. But life is so short and it's such a waste for being upset and suicidal over stupid people and problems. I've only lived around a quarter or less of my life and I'll still have more problems coming my way. So cheer up and say "fudge you to agony" and be happy.

I'm feeling happy today. It was raining just now but that's okay. I am more careless nowadays so I'll have to be more cautious. So overall it's a beautiful day today. :)

A heart that is partially permeable? Mine.
I let some people get in to my heart, and some times push them out.
Some times I let the wrong people get in and push the right people out.
I find out eventually at times but some times i don't.
Some how I stop trusting people I just know for a while so I don't get back stabbed but then I don't trust them so they don't trust me. It's a crazy thing, trust.



I know You can do it, God. You will help me. I'm begging You, please.

Thanks to those who hated me, you made me a stronger person. Thanks to those who loved me, you made my heart bigger. Thanks to those who envied me, you made my self-esteem grow. Thanks to those who cared, you made me feel important. Thanks to those who worried, you let me know that you care. Thanks to those who left, you showed me that not everything is forever. Thanks to those who stayed, you showed me the meaning of true friends. Thanks to those who entered my life, you made me who I am today. -Fiona's blog.

I am a stronger person, have a big heart, self absorbed, know that nothing in everlasting but I don't feel important or cared for or the true meaning of friends because I don't have much.

I injured myself during dance and out of a sudden, I've no idea why I got two bruises. Angel say my veins burst. Okay, don't laugh. Actually, I laughed at her too, until she gave me that serious face so I try to believe her. I still doubt her but she experienced before so, I believed. I think it's still funny. -Rachel's blog

Not exactly vein burst, is blue black but blue black is caused by the little veins that "burst". If too much blood you will have blood clot when the blood dry inside. But I still don't know why your blue black is green. :X



I want something and I will do everything for it but there is just so little that I can do to just increase only a little percentage of obtaining it.


Went for dance this morning and I look so blur cause I did not attend the previous practice. After dance I had mac with Rachel and went home for a nap. Woke up at 8pm and I am still a bit tired.

I will do everything and pray for God's help everyday.

I will be going for a haircut while my sister will be dyeing her hair tomorrow. :)
Hopefully I will take pictures.
Orlesson is so annoying. I want to do my work but it keeps crashing.


I miss my primary school friends. :/


Things happen for many reasons. Maybe one day you will realise and maybe you will never find out why.
You can never always get what you want.
Don't be too glad when you are better than a person. There can still be millions and billions of people better than you.

One message, awaiting.

No point dreading or regretting. Time will never rewind. Move on.


I really need to change my facebook and twitter picture soon. :/

I am at home alone today. Mom will only come back before 10pm and sister I don't know when. Bored.
I like to sing.

I have nothing else to blog about anymore. :(

I am upset. Yes I wish somebody is by my side now.


I got promoted to 3 Express.
I was, initially, happy. But then I looked inside. What a mess! Tons of numbers underlined in black beside most of it wrote D7.
Oh great. My dream burst right in front of me. I keep hoping that it will come true but sadly it didn't.
Yes I am lucky to get into express. But what I what is not only that.
I'm going to pray extra hard and do more miles than others to get God's help.
Because I know I cannot make it without Him.
I wish I can touch Him for Him to help. I am so desperate for help now I can just do anything.
More homework. 100 isn't a problem. Really. But I'm thinking where to get them though.


I'll clear all my assessment books. All.
Even primary school's because I lack resources. :X


Good luck to me. :/

I'M SUPER DUPER CRAZY AND NERVOUS!
Will be getting my results tomorrow and I am extremely nervous I will drop to NA!

I did not go for dance because of cramps and headache. :/
I kind of am glad but guilty for not turning up.



I will be praying very hard tonight.
I hope everyone else will do well! And hope you all will get into the class you want!


You are unique and precious. When you try to value yourself for being the best in something, you are bound to fail. Even Olympic champions are the best only for a few years. You are precious to God not because there is no one better than you, but because you are a unique creation of mind, body and spirit, there is no one like you, and that is exactly what makes you so indescribably precious. :)




I've done some of my e learning.

I'M SUPER DUPER CRAZY AND NERVOUS!


I did not go for dance because of cram

truths will be uncovered.



In one day we can discover a lot of things we didn't know from all sorts of ways.
Choices were also made, that prevent or pull us closer to the truth.
Decide, choose, stand firm and do not change. I want to be like that. Sadly I don't do that. I keep changing and I cannot stick to my choices.
I know too much, but yet, too little as well.

I want too much. I ask for too much. I don't deserve this much. I don't want too much. I want a simple life.
Yes, so I found out I am somebody that can't live without drama.
So I am going to start afresh. Or at least, hope to start afresh.
Isolating myself from the crowd can be a good idea but there are more choices and I believe I can leave this for God to decide. I can count on Him.



I will pray every night. It's a vow.

I found out I am not as innocent as I was when I was a child. I've seen too much of cruelty in life and I am no longer having fun.


I wish I am clear-headed too.
I wish to develop my own style.
I wish for God to hear and help me accomplish my dreams and prayers.
I wish I will never make a enormous drama again.
I wish for world peace.
I wish for global warming to stop.
I wish that tomorrow's dance practice will be fun.
I wish for more people to be happy.
I wish to spread God's words.
I wish to smile more and be happy.



I should really end this post soon. I'm having dance practice tomorrow. I'm not particularly excited but I still have to attend so, good luck to me.

LOVE YOUR ENEMIES.

INSPIRATION[in-spuh-rey-shuhn]

1. an inspiring or animating action or influence: I cannot write poetry without inspiration.

2. something inspired, as an idea.

3. a result of inspired activity.

4. a thing or person that inspires.

5. Theology

a. a divine influence directly and immediately exerted upon the mind or soul.

b. the divine quality of the writings or words of a person so influenced.

6. the drawing of air into the lungs; inhalation.

7. the act of inspiring; quality or state of being inspired.

"I'm still freaking scared about my EOY results." -Rachel's blog.
Me too! Good luck to you, Rach. :)

"I DON'T LIKE MY CCA. I DON'T LIKE THIS SCHOOL. I DON'T LIKE THAT PARTICULAR TEACHER. " -Rachel's blog.

"I always pray for life to be easy and now I must pray for myself to be stronger."Rachel's blog.


I love quoting. :)



Life had been quite boring lately. All I did was dance, going to school for dance or check my exam papers, sleep, use the computer, a little e learning work, eat, and other random crap.

I'm quite awake now, and have nothing to do. I should start folding my laundry.
I'm getting back my results soon, and I'm extremely nervous.
Lots of questions fill my mind and it's starting to affect my life. It can't be helped.


There are so many things I have to put down and walk away from.
But I feel that I'm not ready. But time is slowly slipping away. I don't wish to drag, but I have too much doubts I need to clear out.
I took granted of the privilege for being in a first world country, where living condition is good and where we can have education in a nice environment. We have new books easily obtained from book stores and computer to do our projects. We have buildings for us to stay in and proper clothes to wear. Food can be bought at nearby coffee shops or at restaurants or many other places.
I am aware that I'm in a very comfortable position, and will not need to worry much about money because my family earns enough, though I am not rich.
But I neglected these, and my responsibilities as a student and as a human being.
I forgot that I didn't come to this world with water within my reach and clothes in my wardrobe or teachers right at my doorsteps. My parents earn them for me. And one day, I will have to earn money for their needs and wants, like how they did.
I don't want to be a disappointment anymore.



I was very inspired when I read Rachel's blog. It's so nice for her to blog after a while although being quite busy.
I wonder if I will have a much meaningful day tomorrow. Weird.


Alright, shall go now. Goodbye readers!
Do I really have readers? Oh well nevermind.

I won't be blogging about 30 days of reflection today as I don't feel like it.


When one finally found out that what he have been chasing after for ages wasn't as amazing as he had imagined, he will feel lost, vulnerably trapped and clueless.
Some times in life, there are things that are so difficult to solve, so out of hand, so heartbreaking, so disappointing, so frustrating and these just keeps going on and on.
But some other times in life, there will be things so fascinating, so strangely delighting, so unthinkably beautiful, so heartwarming and these also keeps going on and on.


We meet different people everyday. We pass by people as we walk to our destinations, meet people at gatherings and neighbours living next door. So many ways to meet other human beings. It is extremely overwhelming when you found out the person you trust so much did not care, when the one you wish to be with doesn't think the same way, the one you do not want to be in contact with poke their noses into your businesses. I personally find humans scary. But I still believe we are all just the same inside, wanting love, friendship and kinship. No one is filled with hatred when he was born.




Clear account of what I did today:
I woke up early today and chatted a while with my sister as I have a packet of instant noodles.
She went out shortly to have her o level examination. God bless her. I had an hour nap as I stayed up late last night and was extremely exhausted. Woke up at roughly 9.30am, and prepared to meet Rachel for breakfast and dance training in the afternoon. I left house at 11am sharp, and reached Ang Mo Kip MRT station at about 11.30am. Rachel reached at 12pm, and we went to pepper lunch for breakfast. After that, we took bus 86 to school and reached school on time. We started the training. It was tiring but the dance is quite nice. I guess I'm looking forward to other dance lessons, but I need to train the warm up positions at home. I guess it was not as bad as I thought, as usually I dread going for dance trainings and, sometimes, don't turn up for practice. Well, I guess I'm not a good student, but I'm learning to. I took bus 852 home, and bought food on my way home. After dinner, I bathe and turn on my computer to relax. I am so worn out I will fall asleep once I lie down on my bed! It sure was a beautiful day. Don't we all love these days?


Cheers!

I am not willing to sharing my thoughts to people anymore. It gets all twisted up and passed around.



Tomorrow we will be going back to school to check our exam papers.
Naturally, most people will be worried and afraid. I know I am.
But a tiny amount of people are quite confident.

I get it now. I know what I want right now and I will walk towards that.


30 days of reflection.
Day 4, a habit you wished you didn't have.


I wish I don't keep watching shows on funshion and stay up late. :/

I'm here to blog! :)
I wish that my sister and Crystal's O levels will end soon so that we can hang out like we used to cause I am bored at home and want to go out shopping.


Two more days and I get back my results and have dance training.
Don't feel like going for dance but I don't have a choice.
And I am nervous about getting back my results cause I might not do well enough and I am not really confident. :/



30 days of reflection

Day 3, a picture of you and your friends.



My sister is not exactly my friend but Crystal is!
Good enough already, I don't exactly like taking pictures.
I look ugly but I don't care. :)

I'm not perfect, and will never, never be.




I saw a picture (not picture above) done by this talented girl and I can't help but think of myself as a useless person.
I'm not great at dancing. I'm not exactly pretty. I'm not kind and nice to people. I bitch and whine a lot. I am not content. I am not clever. I have really lousy character. I just suck overall.

I don't know why but it just never seem to be enough.
It's like I'm a puppet and people are laughing at me like I am a joke when I am trying so hard to stand back up and kick asses that bullied me but I just can't. I just can't explain how I am feeling right now. It's like I got kicked down a staircase mentally and I lay there needing a helping hand but everyone just came and take a look at the girl that fell on the hard solid floor and laughing. And you may not see it, but it is driving me nuts just thinking about getting up, let alone doing it.

I did not have a good day today.




I'm not gonna deny. I had a cheerless day.
I don't think it is about anything that happened today.


I was chatting with mom about how unhappy and happy I was and suddenly remembered I have nothing to be happy about.
I have parents, I have siblings, I have some friends, I have myself, I have sufficient money, I have food, I have a house, I have electronic gadgets to keep me company. So what is wrong?


-30 days of reflection

Day 2, the meaning behind your blog name. I feel that sadness is not just sadness. It had rhythm and beat to it.
Life is like a song, and sadness is just a part of the song we go through, even when we hate it, we cannot forward the song.

30 days of reflection.

-Day 1, A recent picture of you and 15 interesting facts about yourself.



Firstly, I saw this reflection challenge thing at 15storeysdown.tumblr.com and I don't think the owner will look at my blog at all but still I am bored and though I don't think anyone will care about what I blog so I blog everything and anything I want to. So here goes:
















I just took this one hour ago.
I know, my specs looks very ugly. But I don't care I always look like this at home. Aiya no one cares lah. Just read the post and ignore the picture if you hate my face so much. And if you hate the post then don't come to this site. :)




Fact 1: I am pretty self-absorbed.
Fact 2: My screen protector for my phone is screwed up though I love my phone.
Fact 3: I like taking pictures but I don't have much chances.
Fact 4: I love my family.
Fact 5: I don't like this complicated world.
Fact 6: I am a big fan of Harry Potter the movie.
Fact 7: I am aware that I am not liked by many people.
Fact 8: I am lazy at times.
Fact 9: I believe that there is no prince charming in this world.
Fact 10: I am bad at accepting human flaw. Unless you are a good friend of mine.
Fact 11: I am a Christian.
Fact 12: I am short but I do not mind.
Fact 13: I like my room. When it is not messy.
Fact 14: I used to rely too much on friends and when they move away I fell and knock my head so hard I woke up.
Fact 15: I love all colors.

LAST MAJOR PAPER DOWN, WHOOHOO!

Today's examination is maths paper two, and coincidentally, the o level students are also taking maths paper two. Good luck to you all! It's little late though cause the exam ended one hour ago.



Well in any case, I am so much for relaxed and I can finally start partying.
Though I have no one to party with cause my sister is still having exams and she is gonna drag me to study with her this Saturday after my financial literacy thing.
She'll be teaching me about secondary 3 maths so it will not be too tough for me next year.
Sweet of her to do this but it's holiday and this is her way of torturing me.
Just kidding.

I am excited and nervous about getting back our report books on 12 November.
Excited cause I want to know how I scored and nervous cause I may fail a lot of subjects and hopefully not english.


Being a student is stressful.
Maybe I am not yet mature, but I definitely know that I am trying my best to be as responsible and as brave as I can because I don't know how long I can hang on to somebody with a tape with her and without realising, further tearing apart our friendship when she can easily mend back this shattered friendship.
I need to be responsible to keep my family from breaking down.
I have to be as brave as possible cause I have no idea which day my parents or sister is gonna pack their luggage and leave.
I don't wish that to happen but some things are just inevitable.


One day we will look back at our lives and see our foolishness and stupidity.
But people should turn back and look at our happiness instead of regretting choices.

She's so pretty!

Life is like a flight of staircase each of us climb.
We might slip and fall at times and still are able to get back up.
But unfortunate people may fall and become paralyzed.
Good thing they can go through several sessions to help them get back up on their foots and start going up the stairs again.
Sometimes the staircase can be decorated beautifully.
While some other times, it can be extremely creepy and dark.
During those times, we hope to find a torch, a candle or any sort of light source you can find.
I found God.



I realised some people blog at night, to summarise their day and how awful or how great it was.
There is this blogger which I tune in to every other days and I figured she blogs every day at roughly 8pm. So I only go to her blog and check at 8 past going 9pm.
I think I don't have a specific time as to when I will blog. I blog whenever I can or want to.


Yesterday I went out with my sister and mom to church at night.
It was fun, as I get to know others' experiences after they've became a Christian.
And one of them only get to know God at the age of 60!
They are bunch of really cool old people, and are great believers.
I am inspired by them as they are very proud when sharing their journey with God.
I like these gatherings. It's fun. :)


Before church me and my sister when to McD's to eat.

Hi talking tom!

This picture is inspired by whoever that started this. I forced my sister to do this. I was too bored!

Back of my sister's ipod with emgraved word from her boyfriend.
Darn good brownie, mmmmm...
Don't ask how I got this sticker.
Sister super engrossed in playing tap tap, I think.



Lastly, a picture of me taken long time ago.












Hi I am Angeline your typical school girl with crazy hair and small eyes. :( I really don't like my small eyes.

My home econs work.

I have already run out of people to trust.

Tomorrow's EOY paper is tested on GEOGRAPHY.
I am not in the mood to study, again.

So I came to this tiny space of mine and talk about my previous days.



We all breakdown once in a while, cry and empty your hearts.
At least I do that.
It has been a habit for me to stop and rest after a huge battle with life.

One can go through a lot and still hang on and not cry.
But I am not one of them.
I am not tough. I break at the slightest knock. I am fragile.
I get that everyone has their own secrets, own problems.
But somehow, I wish that when I care for people, they will care for me when I need to be cared.
However, because I see too many people that are so double faced, I found out the ugly truth that it is like trying to find a fish that can survive on dry land for a long period of time, humans cannot be 100% trusted.
It is hard to distinct evil from good people.
Often, victims look like culprits and culprits look like victims.

We all need someone to be our rock sometimes.
So that we can lean on and rest.
But is it for sure that one can find a soul mate that understands you more than yourself?
I don't know.
But I am willing to take a risk and find out who is a sincere friend, and who isn't.

I mean it when I say I don't know who to trust.
Don't tell me "oh you can trust me!" It makes me not want to trust you. Don't ask why. I don't know either.



Alright I have to go now.
Take good care everyone. I hope everyone's got their own soul mate to talk to.

That's my chinese name. :)


2nd day of examination, all language papers done.
I hope that it will turn out good. Really. I am tired of being a constant disappointment and I am tired of feeling sad because of my results.


I hope EOY can pull up my MYE grades by a lot I will be able to get into the class I want. :)




A short post cause I have to go study.


I blog to express, not to impress. -Fiona

I HAVE ULCERS! :(

I wonder what people do when they are annoyed cause when I am annoyed I'll try to not care about it and it just keeps growing and end up I will start throwing tantrums at everybody and I DON'T CARE.



Yes I am annoyed RIGHT NOW. THIS INSTANT.
I am just so irritated by everyone around me and myself.
I don't understand. I want to study but when I need tutoring, everyone disappeared, or that they are "busy" with FACEBOOK.

OH, SO THAT CAN'T WAIT BUT MY DAMN FUTURE CAN?
FUCK NO.


And I have every reason to panic cause it is quite an important exam as if I don't get good grades I will not be able to get to the class I want to get in and I will be so depressed I might go kill myself.
I MEAN IT.


And stop telling me that God will be disappointed I know He would be I am trying hard too but nothing is going right.
I am going to burst. Literally.





FUCK MY LIFE TO THE MAXIMUM.

Maths is boring. :/




I loved maths.
I stop loving it when I am secondary one.
Because I do not understand a single thing Ms Chng said.

Yeah my dad is AWESOME at maths.
And I inherited from my dad a lot, eyes, nose, mouth, height, character, almost everything.
Even laziness towards studies.
But thank god my mom came in and gave me a bit of interest for studies. Which kind of helped like, A LOT.


And by saying "Oh I love my parents so the very much!" is just not enough for my parents and myself.
I decided to prove it to them my love for them by achieving A1s, hopefully.

And I did a lot a lot of maths exercises, but still, I can't conquer math.
I sought help, but nope, I can't befriend math.

I AM SCREWED MANZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!

BTW, I changed number. Get my number through MSN or during recess or after school. :)

Anne Hathaway.

Live like there ain't no tomorrow.

Girls and boys, fat or slim, tall or short, charming or ugly, old or young, physically fit or disabled, YOU ARE LOVED.



No fucking way. I passed my self test for math but fail the one Mrs Chng gave.
Oh no I'm gonna flunk my math test! T.T

By the way, I'll be mugging this whole week, so I won't be going out.


God loves me a lot a lot a lot. :D

Giving up is not an option, Angeline Chua. Give it your best damn shot.

Taeyeon from SNSD aka Girl Generation.

I wasn't intending to blog cause I'll be hitting the sack in 10minutes time so I won't be restless tomorrow in school.
I'm trying to not be so easily irritated. I am going to be awesome and considerate. I'll try.


Well, today is another boring school day.
Not fun. But well, we have to work hard as exams are really really near.

"I throw my homeworks up in the air sometimes, saying ayoooooooooooooooo. I lazy to dooooooooooo." -Syaffy

"Can my brain be more absorbent? Please, I really need it." -Shaffy

5DAYS MORE TO EOY EXAMS! :/

I always have something nice to blog about in the morning and when I am home, I forgot EVERYTHING.

She's so purty!










Hot hot hot!


I hate the damn weather.





Well hello. Anyone revising?
I am aware that after 6days, examinations will start.
I'm feeling a mixture of happiness and fear.
Happy because finally the year's ending and we get to RELAX.
Fearful because I am not properly armed and it'll be awkward for I might be spending the first 5 minutes brain farting.
And I am afraid I'd have to throw in the white flag and surrender.
Or I may be so tired due to major mugging the previous night I did not have a good night sleep and use the time given for completing the test to complete my sleep.


And I will pray during examination, hoping God will help me.
I am not sure how God can help, but I sure hope He's willing to.




I kind of wonder what others are doing past few weeks.
Were they studying?
Were they slacking?


I kind of really hope I pass with beautiful 'A's on my result slip. But this hope of mine seem so close, yet so far to reach.



The best way is to turn around, and walk away.
I am a very competitive person. And I LOVE to win.
But that does not mean when I am defeated, I become a sore loser and accuse you for cheating or whatever.
I feel that it is plain stupid and underhanded as you are, actually, the one cheating.
This applies in most circumstances. During a competition, conflict between two or more friends, family, whoever.
I was a sore loser, but I don't exactly accuse anybody for cheating. I just give attitude to my competitor, which is wrong and I tend to regret deeply afterward.
Turning my back towards a useless, trivial matter makes me realize that I am actually avoiding unhappiness.
I don't like unhappiness, and I believe nobody likes it.
Pride is one of my weakness, and stubbornness and senselessness and blah blah blah. Loads more.
I cannot be flawless. I cannot please everyone. I can only make myself happy by making wise choices, and giving up bad ones.

No one can make somebody change. You yourself have to be willing to do so or else no one can help you. Not even God as your heart is closed to everyone.

I sometimes like to keep to myself and think.

I guess I am still improving, I still need reminders to get rid of unreasonableness.

I WANT I WANT I WANT!

I WANT PRETTY ACCESSORIES AND CLOTHES!

Yes I guess you can say that I am someone who loves pretty things and is MATERIALISTIC.
Nope, not something to be proud of.

Especially when I like nature a lot a lot, but because of my greed and lust, I buy loads and loads of random crap which I do not need.
What a waste of resources!


I believe that God created everything we needed and, well, man modified it and sadly, resources are wasted for our love for things that we already have, but we want it because it is nicer.
I cannot criticize anybody as I sometimes melt when I see something I like.
I need to improve. T.T





EXAMS' COMIN', GUYS! EVERYONE THAT PUT IN EFFORT I HOPE YOU GET GREAT GRADES AND GET INTO A GOOD CLASS!

Remember, you reap what you sow. :)

I am usually bored at home. And I don't do my homework. I use FACEBOOK, like most people.
I want to score well for my exam and get into a good class next year.



"You only fail when you give up."
"Everybody has special strengths and flaws." -Sherlyn Leo's blog.




I love hair bands!
I saw this teacher from school (I think she's a temporary teacher) wearing a blue color pearl hair band. And she look fabulous.


So today me and my sister used the computer together and chatted while drinking 'teh c beng'.
Yeah, I admit I do have an awesome sister.
Went to popular with her today and bought loads of stationary.


I HATE MY PUFFFFFFFY EYES! :(

Que je t'aime by DoraLovey from deviantART

ZERO GRAVITY.

Life is like gravity. Whenever you want to soar higher, it pulls you back each time.


Hi people.
Bad things happen everyday, be it huge or tiny ones.
But do keep in mind that great things do happen daily too.
Think positive.
(Yes I am trying hard to manipulate myself to be more positive and you should all do it if you are pessimists cause I am.)


THERE IS COMMON TEST TOMORROW AND I TRIED DOING ONE EXERCISE ON MY ASSESSMENT BOOK BUT THERE ARE A TON OF QUESTIONS I DO NOT UNDERSTAND!

I'm gonna cry tomorrow during math common test and keep worrying about it during the weekends and will have a terrible break.




I am somebody that usually don't think twice before acting. Sometimes it is good but most of the times it makes the situation blooooooody.
It always make me regret after those words exited my mouth and wish it can be stuffed right back.

Someone told me that I am someone that may beat around the bushes at times, but in the end I will still spill the beans. Is that a good thing? I don't know.


I have been staying up late these few days and I am sooooooo wornnnnnnnnnn outtttttttttttttttt...


Ciao, everybody!
People that are having examinations soon, good luck! :)

Picture by psychicLexa from deviantART.

As usual, I went home right away after school.
Will be going out with mom and sister later on. For now I'll just spend my time away on the computer. No I am not going to do my work yet because I am very sleepy. :/


I guess I'm very emotional today. And it sucks. Big time.


I like knowing that I am good at something so I will not feel like a useless loser.
I am not creative, not clever, not beautiful, not kindhearted.
I am discontented, gloomy, sorrowful at times.
I try my best to be positive. It does work at times but when it doesn't, I will throw tantrum at people out of frustration.
I don't mean to, but I feel like I left my body when I am maddened.
Rage is my weakness.



Okay, let's talk about my future right now.

Next year I'll be a secondary 3 student and I am still deciding which subjects to choose.
History or Geography?
A math or POA?
I should just let nature take it's course.

I'M STARVING!

BOYCOTT
[boi-kot]

–verb (used with object)

1. to combine in abstaining from, or preventing dealings with, as a means of intimidation or coercion: to boycott a store.

2. to abstain from buying or using: to boycott foreign products.

–noun

3. the practice of boycotting.

4. an instance of boycotting.

I am going to boycott my computer one day.
But I can't do it because I can't bear to leave it alone.
But it's an important exam!
Should I or should I not?



By the way, I am still thinking of whether to go to 3e1 or 3e2.
But then the thing is what if I cannot get into both classes? Or worse, I get laterally transferred to NA. (No offense whatsoever)


I am THIRTEEN DAYS away from EOY and I am still slacking almost everyday. At least I studied a little today.
But at this rate, I will never pass with flying colors. I'd prolly only get just passes.

I am going to write out my plan for exam, and hopefully I will follow them.


Before exam, I should:

1. Go home study instead of going out till late at night.
2. No more facebook, twitter or games.
3. Pack my room.
4. Revise every subject, not only the ones I am weak in.
5. If I don't know how to do a question, consult somebody that knows, like a teacher or sister.
6. Memorize letter formats for Chinese and English.
7. Do more science questions.
8. Must must must revise history and geography.
9. Sleep early.


During the exam, I should:

1. Check, double check.
2. Manage time well and keep track of it.
3. Skip difficult questions, get back to it later.
4. Do not panic. Be calm.
5. DO NOT SLEEP IN EXAM.
6. Sleep early.
7. Don't overstress myself.
8. Don't think of other things. Focus on exams.


After exams, I will:
1. HAVE FUN!
2. Relax!
3. Don't worry about my results yet!
4. USE THE COMPUTER!


I hate the before and during plan. And I am kind of hoping it works cause I usually will go play instead. :/




I guess school today is fun.

This morning I was kind of tired so I kind of daydreamed the whole first period.
After recess I am more awake so I kind of listened during English lesson.
We did sewing during home econs and I think my file holder is ruined by myself.
We met the Australians today during enrichment. They are AWESOME.
I love their way of teaching. It is interesting. I really enjoyed it.


I guess this concludes my day at school.
Boring, I know.
Ya partly cause I am anti social. :/
Not that I want to be boring, I just don't like to socialize with people.
And I am someone that is easily irritated, even if it is just somebody touching my pens without my permission. I mean, it belongs to me. If you want it, buy la! But that's so unfriendly so I kept quiet. And I really hate it when I am very busy and somebody keeps talking to me. But its rude to ask somebody to shut up so I, again, kept quiet. But when I am extremely bored I will keep pestering Carol or Sherlynn or whoever unlucky cause sitting beside or near me.
I have a weird character. :(

Do you guys think I should try out other blogging spots instead of blogger?

I am gonna treat blogging more seriously because I have no where else to dump my vents at.


So I just had my humanities test this morning and I guess I did okay. But I definitely need to study hard to get beautiful 'A's written on my result slip for end-of-year examination. After school I went to Yoshinoya with Linda and Carol and had lunch. After that I came home as I might be going out with mommy at 7pm. I cannot say today is a good day because my mind was occupied by something that had happened few days back and I still cannot get over it. Though I tried my hardest to get it off my mind by focusing on playing floor ball during pe, it did not leave me. Instead, I got so freaked out by that incident I almost cried on that spot.
I am really sorry that I seemed so moody during school and probably made my friends a little moody as well. I tried my best to stop worrying as it should be my imagination. Oh god I am going crazy.


There are no free meals given without having to pay consequences. I learned that the hard way. We all have to pay for want we want, using what we possesses like money when you are buying clothes, food or things we want. But sometimes we have to pay something greater than money. Something like happiness. We have to give up happiness for our own selfish acts at times. We may even end up hurting people we love. But when the harm is done, we can't do anything when we regret.


I wish I can blog more but I don't feel like it cause of this big thing that blew up my entire world.








Easier said than done.

How do you identify who is important in your life, and who is not?



I am blogging almost daily recently.
I guess this little space of mine will be where I put my emotions at. I don't really hang out often with the friends I am with in school. I don't really talk to them about my private stuffs unless I really cannot bottle them in my heart and have to burst it out to somebody. I would like to share my joys to somebody I trust, love and care. I heard many that have trusted one too much. So much that when they were betrayed, they got so disappointed that they never trust anybody after that.

Well, those are not what I want to be talking about today. Not entirely, anyway. I have been into many times of relationships. Friendships, kinships and boy-girl relationships are the most common ones. I place friendship as my first priority as I feel that they can understand you better. I am actually very blessed during primary school, to find somebody that can tolerate my attitude. I was a very spoilt kid from young as my father's love for me is so great that when he stop loving me, I was heart-broken. I abandoned my bad attitude at approximately a year before but sometimes it comes back and my friends had to suffer. Many were victims and I feel so bad for them. But I am still gonna improve myself, even though I am not spoilt anymore.

So recently, I have been going home right after school and my mother is so glad as she really don't like me coming home late as she really wants to build a relationship with me and my sister, who is out whole day without answering phone calls from a worried mother. But after a long time, my whole family is used to her not coming home before midnight. But well, I like that mom's at home shortly after I reach home after school so I can talk to her about my morning in that tiny classrooms with noisy chatting classmates paying more attention to their friends than to the teacher who is trying to help them get better grades as end-of-year exams is 18 days away. The students that put studies in the first place are grateful for this, but some others felt indifferent. "So what if I fail" would be what that think when teachers lecture them for lack of attention and disrupting the lesson by chatting and laughing loudly with their peers, for they do not care about their results, Well, I am neither a goody-two-shoes nor am I the girl that disrupt lessons. I actually listen to lessons, but still talks whenever I have the chance to. I feel that studying is important as I wish I can earn a lot when I grow up. Don't start telling me money cannot give me happiness because I am not intending to get happiness from money. I wish to earn money so that my parents get to sit back and relax as they have worked extremely hard for my and my sister so that we get to study, buy things that we need or want. Even though I do not like that my father is usually not at home, but I still have to thank him for providing me with money. I wish I can be 100% more attentive in classes, but I just can't get my mind off of somethings that can probably wait. You see, I am somebody that gets paranoid very easily, and think a lot when I am quiet and I am a pessimist. Yes, it is very embarrassing to admit I am a pessimist. Well I am also a chicken and I back out at times. I don't like to put myself at risk and I don't really dare to try new things unless it is proven that it will not change my life drastically or whatever. Call me a coward, I don't care. I just really don't like changes and it irritates me when I can't get what I want when I want it. I have a ton of things that I do not know, and I can be slow at some things. I get scared easily, and am a very sensitive person. Sensitive in a bad way. But still, I wish to accomplish my dreams and goals. I hope to hang in there, and wish that someone will be there for me to hold on to.


God sent us angels to protect and look over us. They look like ordinary people, and probably think that they are. But in fact, they can be of so much help to us. I really hope I am somebody's angel. I am tired of myself being so insecure and the feeling that no one needs me is so damn sickening.

I feel that almost all my my blog posts are very off topic. :(

I thank Jesus for sacrificing Himself on the cross for me.



I'm feeling emotional. :/

I suddenly feel that trust is so fragile. It breaks so easily but it does not mend back and be the same again as we will always doubt if we should ever rely on that person again. I had experienced being doubtful of others, and being doubted.

I feel that being a human is tough and hence, I feel I should care for everybody. But one can never please everyone. Along the way, we will definitely offend someone, or be offended. Before I believed in God, I was filled with hatred because of many problems in life. I feel that nobody deserve a second chance. But God made me realize that if I were to make mistakes, I would want others to forgive me, and be my friend. After all, we are not perfect and can't be perfect. We will all make mistakes. I can't move forward if I keep hating and be mean. I won't feel happy. I don't want to stay at square one and be left behind with nothing but hatred. So I try my hardest to forgive everyone that I do not like or whatever. I believe everyone will understand and be good at one point of their lives, even though it can be when they are near their last days, or during their teenage years. I want everyone to go to heaven and be with God. I know God forgives everyone that is repentant and wishes to change for the better. I know God is very upset when one does bad. It must have hurt His heart a lot to see His child hurt others. I wish God is proud of me when I do good. And I will try my best not to hurt God by doing evil deeds.


It's the 21st century, and almost everyone has a phone (excluding myself cause I lost mine and I am just too lazy to get one) and computer. It's a shrinking world. We can communicate even if we are at different places, be it far or near. And as technology improves everyday, we will rather use these devices than to study, hence what we learn everyday decreases as our mind is always elsewhere during school hours. Yes, using the computer or cell phone is extremely tempting and I usually hang on to my netbook for hours and will not let go of it unless I need the toilet or it's time to have dinner when I am at home. And my results in school is bad. I only passed 2 subjects during mid-year!
I am quite determined to get a satisfying result for the coming examination, which is also crucial as it is the base of the staircase we will be building during secondary 3 and 4. This staircase will lead us to our future and what we want as our careers when we are older. If the base is not stable, there is a good chance we will fall and have to start building from the top. I personally feel that it is too late for me to only start revising recently as I don't usually pay attention in class and secondary 2 work is not easy. I regret not listening during lessons. I am often tempted to commit to a conversation and knowing myself, I cannot resist temptations well. And right now I have to learn everything myself without teachers' assistance and I have to squeeze a whole year's work into 19 days. I hope that all my fellow friends will be in the same class as me, but then again, I will surely talk during class and will not learn anything. So it is not exactly a good thing that my friends are in the same class as me. :X

I need to complete my damn english summary today and a ton of revision. I guess I'll get to it now and do them all.



Bye everyone, hope you all have a good day today! God bless you all having examinations now or soon! :D

I NEED TO BE MORE EFFICIENT AND WORK HARDER SO THAT I CAN GET PASS MY EXAMS.

Exams will start after approximately 20days and I have yet to revise on tons of subjects. Instead, I am here, in front my my sister's computer, using facebook, and posting on my blog.

I guess right now is not really a time to stop and think of what I should do about many things. And right now I hope no big change will come into my life so I will still study and not think of the problem.

I seriously need to read more books to improve my english. It's getting worse.



I have to revise on:

Math- Chapters 1 to 8
English- Complete Alex Rider
Chemistry- Everything
Physics- Everything
Biology- First few chapters
Geography- Everything
History- Everything
Chinese- Read
Literature- Or else the lightning god

Now we all have to make use of the remaining time to revise, hoping that these will help us get As or at least pass our exam.


I kind of regret not studying during mid-year. The result I got for mid year will pull down my grades for sure. I failed 2 subjects, I have no idea how it will not affect my final result.


Okay gonna go study on maths now. Good luck to everyone having exams now or in the near future! :)

HAI.

Well, has been long since I've last posted.
And I'm finally here to update.


I'm hoping to spend my everyday doing more good instead of just lying on my stomach using my netbook or sitting in front of my sister's desktop using facebook.

Almost everyday I look at my parents and I see that they have grown older and one day I'll just lose them and might never get to see them again.
I don't wish to regret then, for not spending enough time with them. Because frankly, I feel that I am a very bad child.

My mom work everyday till around 5pm, and have to cook for the whole family and clean the house. After a long day at work, she still have another pile of housework to do at home. When I was younger, I often think that it's a mother's job to keep the house clean, cook breakfast, lunch and dinner for the family, buy toothpaste or whatever we run out of, pack our bags, fill up our water bottles with water, wash and fold our laundries, prepare our clothes if we are going overseas or to camp and more. But then there was something that happened in our family that made me realize that if without my mother, I would be useless because I don't even know how to operate the washing machine and cook meals and clean the house. From then on, I started to wash my own dishes, although I might put it there for sometime then wash it up, but I will still try my very best to help keep the house neat so my mother can relax after having to work from morning to evening.


My dad, even though not at home often, has provided us a lot. When I was young, he used to bring me to the arcade and sometimes over to my grandmother's house. Even though I am very depressed for what he had did few years ago, he is still my dad. I don't really care if others think he is wrong to do it and I should not forgive him, I think I can understand why he did it, (not saying it is right to do it) and I don't wish to blame him for anything. I love my dad. When I was young, I am closer to my daddy, because he will always side me when my mother was being 'ridiculous', he knew how I felt and why I feel that way. Everyone make mistakes. I think my dad has the right to be selfish because he have been selfless for the past 10years. When I first find out I was so damn angry, I cursed him so many times. I wish I can take it all back. I kind of feel that I am to be blame for his mistake too. I wish he will not stop loving me because I was angry because I love him. I still do.



I used to bite my sister when I was very very young. My grandma used to pinch me for biting her and leaving marks on my sister's hands. My sister and I were not close when I was in primary school because I feel that even though we are sister we don't necessarily need to be close. Many have told us that we don't look alike. We like to tease each other but we don't usually mean it. I think. :X Recently she told me I have pea-like eyes. I still love her though. Sometimes we do share with each other our secrets. I guess my sister is like an open book. Her emotions are all shown on her face and the way she speak. But she does not like to tell what is bugging her or why she feels this way. She does not like being one's burden.


Overall, I love my family, even though right now I am not close to my dad, but I really hope to be. I wish I will not be a failure and disappoint my family. I hope to return my parents whatever good memories that they gave me when I was young.


Daddy, mommy and sister, you may not see this, but I am going to prove to you all that I am going to work hard and pursue my dream of being a lawyer and treat all of you to lunch when I become a lawyer and will try my best to not let you down.


I wish that God will bless my beloved family with happiness and I wish they will be healthy, lively and happy. I thank God for giving me such a wonderful family, even though we are not very very very rich, at least we have food on the table everyday, and are able to talk, hear, move and feel. I am just so lucky to have them all. Amen.


OMG When did I become so mushy.


Okay I don't know what else to say and I am having mixed feelings and have to go clam myself down now.

BAI ALL!