I took him for granted and I don't deserve him at all.
The pain is indescribable.
Sometimes keeping things to yourself is better. I rather not to bother someone else. But somehow I feel that one day, just one fine day, I will explode and go haywire.
I keep thinking they are meant to come and make your head spin and bring you up to heaven and bam, they throw you to hell.

Some incident I am talking about above has happened few years back and some happened recently.


I love life but I am too tight up. :/

Leg hurting like crap.
and the mosquito bites aren't helping.
And the weather is soooo COLD.
Can't stand this weather.


Yes I like it when it is cold.
But not when I am sick.


Might take some pictures later.


Ciao!

Vanishing Spell.

Let the object of objection,
become but a dream,
as I call the seen,
to be unseen.


Truth Spell.

For those who want the truth revealed,
open hearts and secrets unsealed,
from now until its now again,
after which the memory ends,
for those who know are in this house,
will hear the truth,
from others mouths.



Hear your hearts' desire.

My love strong,
my spirit weak,
it is an answer that I seek,
the question burns within this fire,
so I may hear,
my heart's desire.


Switch lives with a Charmed one.

One is what i really need
My life is not good to be
Switch my life with one of the
Charmed Sisters Three.



I love Charmed.

WHAT WAS YOUR:

1. Last beverage: Mineral Water.
2. Last phone call: Mummy.
3. Last text message: Ming Jie.
4. Last song you listened to: Crash and burn- Jesse McCartney.
5. Last time you cried: Don't remember, last month?
HAVE YOU EVER:

7. Been cheated on: Yeah.
8. Kissed someone & regretted it: Yes.
9. Lost someone special: Yea.
10. Been depressed: Yeah.
11. Been drunk and threw up: No.

LIST THREE FAVORITE COLOURS:

12. Pink
13. Green
14. Purple

THIS YEAR HAVE YOU: (2010)

15. Made a new friend: Yes.
16. Fallen out of love: Yes.
17. Laughed until you cried: Yes.
18. Met someone who changed you: Yes.
19. Found out who your true friends were: Yes. A lot of them.
20. Found out someone was talking about you: Yes.
21. Kissed anyone on your friend's list: No.
22. How many people on your friends list do you know in real life: How would I know.
23. How many kids do you want to have: If I ever get married, 1 or 2.
24. Do you have any pets: I would want one.
25. Do you want to change your name: Add a middle name.
26. What did you do for your last birthday: Celebrate, duh.
27. What time did you wake up today: 10.00am I think.
28. What were you doing at midnight last night: Webcam with Rachel
29. Name something you CANNOT wait for: My future.
30. Last time you saw your Mother: Couple of hours ago.
31. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life: A lot of things.
32. What are you listening to right now: Telephone- Lady G.
33. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: Nah.
34. What's getting on your nerves now: My eyes. Super dry.
35. Most visited webpage: Not sure. Facebook or Youtube.
36. What's your real name: Angeline Chua. I don't think it is necessary to write my chinese name too.
37. Nicknames: Angell. French Fries. -.-
38. Relationship Status: Single, and am happy.
39. Zodiac sign: Sagittarius.
40. Male or female?: Female.
41. Elementary?: Peixin Primary School FTW!
42. Middle School?: Yio Chu Kang Secondary School.
43. High school/college?: -
44. Hair colour: Dark Brown.
46. Height: 150cm.
47. Do you have a crush on someone?: No one. Guys aren't worth.
48: What do you like about yourself?: Basically everything.
49. Piercings: Ear.
50. Tattoos: Don't have.
51. Righty or lefty: Left.

FIRSTS :


52. First surgery: Primary 2.
53. First piercing: Primary 1.
54. First best friend: Li Xuan. But she sucked, now that I recall.
55. First sport you joined: Swimming I guess.
56. First vacation: At Malaysia.

RIGHT NOW:

59. Eating: Cup noodles.
60. Drinking: Soup.
61. I'm about to: Turn in.
62. Listening to: Kissin' U- Miranda Cosgrove.
63. Waiting for: Meeting God.

YOUR FUTURE :
64. Want kids?: Kids are cute. But annoying too. I don't mind adopting.
65. Get Married?: Not sure.
66. Career?: Model, actress, lawyer, psychologist, photographer, journalist, artist, singer.

WHICH IS BETTER:

67. Lips or eyes: Eyes.
68. Hugs or kisses: Hugs.
69. Shorter or taller: Taller.
70. Older or Younger: Older.
71. Romantic or spontaneous: Spontaneous for now.
72. Nice stomach or nice arms: Both.
73. Sensitive or loud: Don't know.
74. Hook-up or relationship: Relationship I guess.
75. Trouble maker or hesitant: Zzz.

HAVE YOU EVER :

76. Kissed a stranger: If it is to save the whole world, yes.
77. Drank hard liquor: Don't think so.
78. Lost glasses/contacts: No.
79. Sex on first date: No.
80. Broken someone's heart: Sigh. Yes.
82. Been arrested: Don't think so.
83. Turned someone down: Yup.
84. Cried when someone died: Ya.
85. Fallen for a friend?: Yes.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
86. Yourself: Yes.
87. Miracles: Yes.
88. Love at first sight: Yes and no.
89. Heaven: Yup.
90. Santa Claus: Yes and no.
91. Kiss on the first date: Yes.
92. Angels: Yes.

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:
94. Had more than 1 girlfriend/boyfriend at a time : No.
95. Did you sing today? : Yes.
96. Ever cheated on somebody? : Maybe subconsciously? LOL. Joking. No.
97. If you could go back in time when will it be: I want to move forward.
98. If you could pick a day from last year and relive it, what would it be? :I want to go to the future.
99. Are you afraid of falling in love?: Don't know.
100. Posting this as 100 truths?: What?

Sometimes I wish God would bring me up to heaven, where there are no drama.
I will not feel pain. I will not feel alone. I will not feel sadness. I will not feel loveless. I will not free weak. I will not feel anger. I will not be tempted.


I know God is here, but His presence seemed so far lately.
I don't know why I felt danger. I don't feel safe.

I feel that good people are out-numbered by bad people in this world.


I have no idea now what I should be doing, what lies in the future.
Even though God say that we do not need to worry about the future as it has yet to come, I can't help but wonder, what if I am not good? What if I am evil? What if I go worship Satan? What if I commit suicide? What if I got murdered? What if I go crazy?


I believe God send down angels for each of us.
I don't know who is mine.
I don't understand. I don't know if I have the courage to know everything either.
Somethings are just meant to be secrets.

I am so afraid I might be a follower of Satan's.
Why do I feel that way?
Is this a premonition?


Fudging poodle I am mad.

STFU, You fudging spend more money elsewhere than in the family and now you are complaining. I am not the one spending the most money yet you are accusing me. I plan to pass you some cupcakes so you can give it to your girlfriend cause I just feel like I should and I didn't have to do it because I hate her. And you fudging don't appreciate it. Fine, then.

Was helping sister with some chores and slept at fudging 5am in the morning.
I just woke up 40minutes ago.


Tomorrow there's dance and chinese dancers have to go back to school and it sucks.
Well well that's one saddening thing in my life.
If you include NDP training that would be two.
Not that I dislike NDP I only dislike that we have to train for 9hours and only let us go back at night.


By the way I think I am good at being happy.
I say that because I am always making crazy and weird jokes randomly and sing at random timing.
And I like to make a fool outta myself.
I like to talk to myself too.
When I am young I always talk to myself.
And I am a teen I still talk to myself.
I will be like thinking of what show to watch and start to compare the shows.


By the way I think the tickets that NDP will give the NDP participants is preview cause on that day they cannot give us all thousands of people each several tickets cause those people who never participate cannot go watch the show live.
Yeah that's why I think they will be giving us the preview tickets.



Might update more later. :)

Lady G's new song, Alejandro.

I am not exactly a fan of Lady G but some of her songs are nice.
This one is stuck in my mind and I don't really like it though.
But it is still pretty damn awesome nonetheless.
Although the music video might be quite obscene.
And I don't like the hairstyle she has in the video.
I think the bad romance hair is nice. The long hair one.


I like the style, but I think it'll be nicer if it is thicker.
I love the hair color by the way.



By the way I used google translator and found out 'Alejandro' means Alexander in english. WTH?


I have to be quieter because I am too active.
Maybe I am hyperactive?


I love the show Percy Jackson and the Lightning Thief!
Just watched it on computer the day before yesterday.
Logan Lerman is pretty darn awesome.




Funny!






He is just simply GORGEOUS. Hawt!


I wanna buy Percy Jackson and the Lightning Thief book cause most of the time movies cut short the story lines cause there isn't enough time.
So yeah I sort of am in love with Percy Jackson aka Logan Lerman.
I wish he would act as Alex Rider too.


Angell. :D

I hate NDP for ruining my holiday but I have to admit it is sort of fun.


Well, life sucks and I should probably watch some comedy to cheer myself up.
But I am lazy. And besides, there will still be NDP training tomorrow so I guess I just have to get some rest now so I will be more awake tomorrow.


I really wish I can post a longer entry but I really don't have the mood to.
It is actually my choice so you just have to bear with it cause you do not have a choice.

I need to read more books because my english is getting worse.
I don't even know if I said that sentence correctly or not.
Actually I am slacking everyday watching Charmed.

Well at least I know the Source of all evil is dead.
And Phoebe divorced with Cole.
And Piper is pregnant.
And Paige is... The same.


I am going to read some book and then plan my schedule.
NDP is starting again. Fudge NDP.


Okay I am going to quit saying vulgarities.
But I am still gonna say fudge. :D


Time to do some homework.
Can I not do Miss Chng's first?
What other work do I have except for Miss Chng's?
Science? I suck at science.
English? Oh good I am going to do english cause it is book review.
OMG So happy today I'll only need to do book review thank God! :D


Ciao, gonna do some homework! :D

Angell. Peace out! I don't even know what that means. I am weird.

Rachel offline already and I am really bored. :(

I am going to blog about random crap! :D


Was chatting on phone with Carol and Hui Yan on phone and we made up random stories.
Fairytales and real life stories. :D


At first is Carol make for us all.
Then in the end I decided to make some too.
But it turned out not as well but it's better than Carol's. :/
Nah I'm just joking mine's crappy.

Well in the end me and Chris Matthews Rider eloped to a faraway land. How romantic! :D

By the way in my opinion Joe Donahue is hawt. (a character from a book)
Hahaha! :D


In my opinion- I can only start dating when I am 16 years old.
And- I hope Carol will stop dreaming to be a singer. Don't forgot our another dream!
And- Hui Yan, please cooperate with me leh. :'(
And- My life is starting to suck.


Fucking dreams stop haunting me fudge off!


I feel like screaming. FUDGE!!!!!

Seriously if only thing can be right for that case I wouldn't be so worried.
Fudge.


I wish I can be positive but I just can't.
Even Carol knew and WTF I don't? How can I not realise?
Well I still didnt realise until Hui Yan told me.
Maybe I should get used to her presence. Maybe.


Now my plans are all screwed.
Why some people cannot think for others?
Don't you know other's lives are also fudging hard?
Okay. I don't know what to do now.
Fudge! I am just going to stay at square 1 forever.
Since everyone wants to corrupt me and my plans.
I. AM. STAYING. HERE.




Firstly I have to decide on my future myself.
Not for my friends, not for my family.
Because it is MY life.
Should I be a lawyer?


Starting to be independent. :D
Isn't it a good thing? Okay maybe I am too independent. :/
I mean, maybe sometimes it is okay to depend on your friends?
I don't know.

But will I suddenly break down in the near future?
the start is always so beautiful. After that it is all shit.

Life always throw you random crap like bad dreams and conflicts and a lot more.
I really don't know how to move forward when the path ahead is filled with broken glass everywhere.


I forgot who told me this: I don't cry because crying take too much time and energy and everything still stays the same. I rather use the time to solve the problem.
Something like that. I don't remember.


I hate life but I still have to go on.

Angell

What are bad dreams?


I have been having quite a lot of bad dreams lately.
They are so scary.
But I think the recent one made me feel like crying in real life.

When I saw that scene I was in so much pain.
Even if he isn't a good person in real life, in the dream he is.
And when he get so much hurt I feel so so so pain.
It was so fucking scary.
I didn't know what I should be doing at that time.
I should have known that something has happened when the car go crazy.

It's okay that he is irresponsible.
It's okay that he is not at home often.
But I cannot live without him.
Daddy I love you. I haven't said this to you before, not in my life.
This time I am sincere. I don't want more people to walk away from me.

When I wake up from that dream my stomach contracted. I don't know why but it is a terrible feeling.

Even if you are sinned, you are still my dad.
I don't know if you are able to reach Heaven or not, but I hope you can go to Heaven with me.
But I feel like an idiot.


I am still shivering with fear.
God that made me so fucking scared.
I don't want this is ever happen.
It's too scary I don't want to know I am so scared.
I don't want to lose him. I really don't.
Daddy I wished you knew.

Imperfect is just the new perfect- Caitlin Crosby


Red Lipstick rocks!



I learn a lot throughout my whole life.
I've learned is that independent rocks.
And I am awesome even though I am not perfect.
But I'll try to be a good person. :)


Friends are people that brings color to your life.
You are important to at least one person.
Life isn't simple but I love it.
God rocks.
I love whatever that I have.



And what I think of the term, friends:
- They are as important as my family members.
- True friends stand by you no matter what.
- True friends share things with each other.
- True friends do things together.
- True friends gives advises on what they think.
- True friends do stupid things together.
And many more.


And what I think of love:
- In my opinion, the love teenagers say are just puppy love.
- I don't believe that if I am attached to the guy of my age that relationship will last.
- Most boys of my age are immature and irritating and childish and immature and childish. And irritating. (Grow the fudge up.)
- Either I am too old or boys of my age are mostly soooo irritating I feel like punching them in the face.
- All in all, boys are too childish. Not my type.
- Told ya Chris Matthews Rider is the best choice for me! :D
- I am going to be a nun.
- Yes it is true.
- I am not joking I wanna be a nun.
- Okay I am joking. I want Jesse McCartney. :D


Okay the last part wasn't necessary but I am really bored. Haha.

Rant on why I hate most boys of my age:
- Irritating.
- Annoying.
- Childish.
- Immature.

Okay lah I myself also not mature at times but hey at least some time I am mature right? :)

I have the urge to punch your face man.
I am serious.
You are very kiddy lah seriously. Stop being so annoy can or not I don't want to dislike anyone since I am a Christian.
If everyone can just shut their mouths and open them at the correct time. Urgh.
Muthafudgers.

Waitin' fer my hair ta dry.
Even after my haircut few weeks/a month back my hair is still the same. Just shorter.
Okay it is nice at times, but seriously I think it is too curvy on top and straight at the bottom.
And I have no idea how to fix my hair.
When I still have long hair I just curl my hair and everything is fixed and everyday is good hair day.
Now that I have short hair everyday is bad hair day.
Plus I have fizzy hair so it's fudging hard to straighten it. :(
And I think I look weird with short curly hair. I haven't try it yet though.
So today I will try to curl it. :)
Hopefully it will turn out perfect. Or at least near perfect.


I need to borrow that book! It's so nice okay I am dying without books to read!
Have been constantly checking the National Library Board website for that book.
Expecting to fly. Last book of Cinnamon Girl.
Then after that I'll buy City of Bones.

I would love to buy Expecting to fly but I couldn't find it at popular.
I thought of going to Kino but I am just goo lazy to go all the way to Bugis alone.
I can but I wont cause I am too lazy.

I'll need to pay fines before I can borrow the book.
A bit upsetting huh? I need money.
Daddy come home quick and give me my allowance!
Why are you always only at home at 7/8pm?
I hate your workplace by the way. It's dirty.
Actually I don't know if it's dirty or not. I don't remember cause I only went there for like few times in my life when I was young.


Okay I feel very sad today. :(
Hates hates hates.
I wanna go borrow book now.
OKAY I WILL BE GOING OUT AT 5PM SHARP.


To borrow book and I love you God for letting the person who borrowed the book return the book earlier so I can read it. :D Love ya God to the maximum!


Fudging cold! Cold cold cold cold cold! Why is today's weather so damn cold!
I didn't even on air con loh, I only on the fan. And it is only medium.

So cold!

LOVE VS. SEX:



A teenage girl about 17 had gone to visit some friends one evening and time passed quickly as each shared their various experiences of the past year. She ended up staying longer than planned, and had to walk home alone. She wasn’t afraid because it was a small town and she lived only a few blocks away. As she walked along under the tall elm trees, Diane asked God to keep her safe from harm and danger. When she reached the alley, which was a short cut to her house, she decided to take it. However, halfway down the alley she noticed a man standing at the end as though he was waiting for her. She became uneasy and began to pray, asking for God’s protection. Instantly a comforting feeling of quietness and security wrapped round her, she felt as though someone was walking with her. When she reached the end of the alley, she walked right past the man and arrived home safely. The following day, she read in the newspaper that a young girl had been raped in the same alley just twenty minutes after she had been there. Feeling overwhelmed by this tragedy and the fact that it could have been her, she began to weep. Thanking the Lord for her safety and to help this young woman, she decided to go to the police station. She felt she could recognize the man, so she told them her story. The police asked her if she would be willing to look at a lineup to see if she could identify him. She agreed and immediately pointed out the man she had seen in the alley the night before. When the man was told he had been identified, he immediately broke down and confessed. The officer thanked Diane for her bravery and asked if there was anything they could do for her. She asked if they would ask the man one question. Diane was curious as to why he had not attacked her. When the policeman asked him, he answered, “Because she wasn’t alone. She had two tall men walking on either side of her.” Amazingly, whether you believe or not, you’re never alone. Did you know that 98% of teenagers will not stand up for God? Re-post this as Love vs. Sex if you truly believe in God. PS: God is always there in your heart and loves you no matter what and if you stand up for him he will stand up for you. I bet 93% of the people that read this wont re-post it. I read this and re-posted it. Well I bet you read this note because of the title, didn’t you?


(Saw this from Rachel's blog.)


I don't know today is a happy or sad day.
But it is fun. Sort of.


and from today on no one is allowed to touch my phone.
I don't know why but this struck me suddenly.
so no one is allowed to touch it unless I allow you to but I prolly won't.
I will also change my phone password.


And uhm, I have to think through some stuff. :D
And I haven't contact many old friends. Oh well..

So ciao everyone. Have a nice day!

I want to change another hairstyle. I hate my hair.
I want colored contacts. I just want it.
I want fairer skin. I am too tan.
I want smaller nose. I just want it.
I want eye shadow.Spice up the face.
I want blusher. I need to look more healthy I look too pale.
I want to be taller. Although I am quite happy with my current height but I still wanna be taller.
I want more clothes. Not slutty clothes tyvm. No offense by the way.
I want more shoes. Err mainly heels.
I want better grades. At least 65marks for all subjects for PPR2.
I want to be independent. Not that I am not just not enough.
I want to increase my knowledge.
I want to love dancing again.
I want to go gaga with my friends again.
I want to have fun once in a while.
I want new earpiece.
I want new school bag.
I want new wallet.
I want my that particular friend back.
I want my passion back.
I want to buy movies to watch with my sisters. Blood sister and my bunch of friends which I call them sisters.
I want back all my fears.
I want back my memories.
I want back my long hair. Okay maybe not.
I want that freaking ulcer gone. Bothered me for few days already.
I want my own room. Or at least I get to own my mom's room in the afternoon.
I want a Jesse McCartney poster.
I want a Show Luo poster.
I want more happiness.
I want my life back.


Crash and burn burn burn.
You are gone now. I just blown you off of my mind.
Wait I am not Piper I can't blow things up.
Ohmigod what do I do?


Okay just kidding I suddenly thought of what I would do if there is someone I hate that I wanna fucking get it out of my mind so I want go party.
Just a joke. Not funny? :/


It totally suck when people think that they know what you mean when you write something on twitter or facebook or on blog but actually that wasn't what you meant.
But then again, you won't have to tell the person what you really meant. :)


OHMIGOD TIME FLIES!
It's June already!
One more month to July and my sister's birthday is in July.
Yeah to birthday cake!
Boo to presents. She'll prolly ask me to buy her lipstick or something. :( Or foundation? Since hers sucks. Or worse, she ask me to buy her airplane tickets to go Taiwan so that she can go visit Show Luo?! I'm just kidding. :D


In about 2 or 3 weeks time I can celebrate again!
This time I will drag some of my sisters with me to celebrate.
But then who will be going is not confirmed.
If unfortunately NDP training crash with that date I have no idea what to do.

Well this will be decided on a nearer date.
But I think I will ask Rachel because I don't think Hui Yan wants to go and she can't either.
Carol cannot go out.
My sister also cannot ask she don't fit into category either.
My mom won't understand the point of the date so not gonna ask her.
Actually Rachel don't exactly fit into the category too but well it's okay cause her thinking fits.

This sounds real complicating doesn't it.

Angell.

Paige Matthews Halliwell.


In search of goals in life.


Life would be utterly boring without dreams.
Even if it is an impossible dream, it is not wrong to dream.

I dream to soar.
I dream to have car.
I dream to have a big house.
I dream to be a lawyer.
I dream to be a famous celebrity.
I dream to be a dancer.
I dream to go poly.
I dream to have lots of make up.
I dream to have nice figure.
I dream to have nicer nose.
I dream to be a princess. Or maybe a queen.
I dream to be a heroine.
I dream to play random games that I love all day long.
I dream to be asleep forever.
I dream to be the main female lead.
I dream to be with God.


So many dreams, but some are impossible.
In life you cannot obtain everything you want.
But sometimes with what you have, you can be very happy.


I don't see why I have to be gloomy everyday, just because I cannot have everything.
Because at least I have something that everything in the world can't exchange for.
I might not have found that something yet, but I am very sure I will, on one fine day.


Life is so beautiful.
Believe God will create a path for you. The perfect path that you will walk with your beloved people.
Note that life is not perfect, but it gives us strength.

Dear Lord Jesus, I hope everyone I love can see how beautiful love is, and how strong humans can be. I wish everyone will see nothing is impossible. I want everyone to know You will be walking with them, no matter how hard things are, no matter how many obstacles ahead. Because You will not leave us alone. You will give us the strength to move on. Amen.



P.S.: Dear Lord Jesus, I wish I can find my library book the due date is nearing. >< I will improve to be a more responsible person. Amen.

爱很重要? Bullshit.




I like this song! :D


I have decided to be myself from now on.
Why do I have to hide myself from the world?
Fuck it, I will do what I want. And no one will stop me.


What happened to the world?

OHMIGOD A FUCKING NIGHT MARE!



First I was in school and some friend of Carol's from other school came. (seriously no idea who those people are just random faces.)
But they are not allowed in school so they sort of hide so teachers won't see them.
But then teachers found out. :(
Then the whole class were to run outside the school but then there's a hill there and people in front of me run up the hill. I did the same.
I ran super fast I don't know why, and one of my shoe kind of fell out.
Then I continue running and I saw clouds in front.
I followed the others in front and continue running and running and running on top of the cloud.
But of course we all fall through the cloud and on to a hill.
(If our school really have that hill I'll love it.)
And sadly I lost both of my shoes.


Then we went to assemble.
Mr Siva saw me with no shoes.
And I wore my school shirt on the opposite side.
Something I didn't realize.

Then Mr Siva ask me to go change.
And err in the toilet... You wouldn't want to know it.
SCARY!

Pictures speak a thousand words.


I love pictures. They capture the previous moments in life that we might not remember.



你这个烂咖, 逊咖!!
不要在出现在我面前, 不然你就准备送死吧!

I CONFESS THAT I AM A SHOPAHOLIC. :(


Guess how much I spent today.

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

$70. :(

I bought lipstick, whitening mask, 败犬女王, and some remover thing.


And I ate Pasta Mania. :(
Money fly. :(



Okay I am going to claim money from daddy for the disc one.


I need to return people money also.
I should not spend so much money already. :(


Actually went out with Rachel but then after a while she went to meet her parents.
Actually want to shop alone but then I asked my sister along for fun. :D


Angell. Broke liao lah. But I bought things that I want so I am quite happy. :D

Okay.


This. Is. So. FRUSTRATING.



I have no idea how to react to this.
You guys have to be more responsible to me.
you guys can't just have fights (indirectly) like this and throw the rest in my face.
Thank God I am tough or I might just start weeping and ,oh, commit suicide!


If you didn't, I wouldn't have these shit to handle.
If you had been more responsible, I will be happy as hell now, watching Charmed!

Although I think it is fucking unfair I have to accept that this is my family and if I want to be a part of it I'll have to handle all these.
But you never seem to care for me. All you do is get upset at every little thing I do.
No matter good or bad.
Yes I have been very bad at studies and I get into trouble often but did you even care why I don't get good grades?


Whatever good I did is all forgotten. Whatever bad I did it will forever be there in your mind.


I wish SOMEONE can come in and tell me everything will be fine or don't worry I'll fix this.
I am SO tired of helping.
So sick of doing good that will never be seen.
So sick of being strong.
So sick of encouraging people.
So darn sick of idiots that come in to disturb my life.


I hate people that assume they know how I feel.
You are only looking at the cover. You don't know the real me.
I look like I have no troubles and no sadness. You are so darn wrong.
People that look like they are strong mentally are still human and probably need more help than weak ass people.
But well who cares anyway.
(I wonder why I always write 'you' when I am referring to nobody. At least nobody that I know. Yet.)



Oh ya, special thanks to my daughter Fiona for encouraging me. :D
And thank you my friends even though you weren't here to help I know you guys would if you were. :D


Angell.

Anyone seen the apparent longest word in the world?
But it is not in dictionary. It is a chemical name though. I am not going to paste the name here because it is going to flood my page.

Go to this link to check it out: http://sarahmcculloch.appliedgeekery.com/longest-word.html


It's so fucking long!
189,819 words! Who is so bored to create a weird chemical name?
But it's sort of cool anyways.
Wonder if anyone will be so bored to find a substance and make the name have 189,820 words just to disturb this person that gave the chemical its name.


Facebook sort of 'widen' my knowledge, ya know?
I know what's the longest word now. :D
But sadly I don't know how to pronounce it.
I don't think the person that gave it its name knows either. :x


you guys should try to pronounce it.


Angeline Paige Halliwell.

This post is requested by Rachel.


I can has new blog songs! :D
Ohmigod can anyone please say Jesse McCartney is Hawt?! :D


By the way Paige Matthews Halliwell is damn hot.
Love her fashion sense to the max.
And her power is absolutely cool too. :)


Who need guys when you have everything in life cool and rocking to the max?
(But obviously if Chris Matthews Rider appear I don't mind picking him.)
My life is floating merrily. Okay weird phrase but who cares.
Okay. So now I suddenly want to analyze something fucking important.
Okay not really. But well it's still quite okay important.
Obviously not gonna blog about it. But seriously it is real hilarious/bitchy.
Well anyways will be going out with Rachel Hathaway tomorrow and woah am I excited or what?

Oh ya by the way if anyone need counseling come find me. I bet I'll make you jump off a building due to my lousy skills.
(this means do not find me to counsel you.)

I feel very bitchy today. :x.


Well guess what! I can be jealous some times but I have to say I am very happy with my current fabulous life.
Might not get good marks but I sure have really really happy days.
And I'm so happy I got 59marks yet I'm position 7! :D
So things are not as bad as it seems. :D


Anyone want me to write about how I feel about... Oh never mind I guess no one will be interested in my crap opinion.

GTG now bye bye! :D

Some people love to make enemies. Good thing I am not one of them.


Hi everyone.
I wanted to write a blog entry on life one day, but today's entry will be something random. :D


Okay. I guess all of us have to admit we have times we want to relieve some stress and we go shouting or screaming or go to sleep or cry or self-study (do self-study relieve stress?) or whatever you do to feel better.
For me is go nuts (or cookies) and do some yoga. Not that I know yoga much but my mom sort of do and taught me how to when I was young but I pretty much forgot the steps.
Or not I go really quiet and think of what will happen in the future like example I have a chio car like audi or something. And a beautiful house and maybe I will live with some of my friends like how we planned to. (Doesn't hurt to dream!)
I love to think of the future, thinking how wonderful it might be.
It might not be wonderful itself in the future, I might be poor or something. Or maybe I am happy in the future or maybe I am single forever. Actually I sort of don't mind being single forever, if you'd ask me.
I mean, like what my mom always always say, love is not as important as water and oxygen.
And it is not like I am not capable enough to support myself right? Just study hard now lah.
Yes you did not hear me wrong. I am going to study harder for PPR2 and I will do well.
I will prove my mommy wrong. (Watch out mom, I'll use my result to scare you.)


Oh ya, by the way if I get damn good marks my mom will reward me with something special.
Hopefully she'll keep her promise.


I'll need to improve my math, science and humanities.
Actually english too, but I didn't mention it because I don't want to seem stupid.
I am not stupid okay, it's because I haven't been concentrating on my studies lately.
EOY is test on whole year or subjects taught after July?


I really need to buck up. Have been slacking for few months and sleeping in class almost for all lessons.
I'm also the first one to sleep during MYE.
So slack loh!
I guess because no motivation. Actually it's because of laziness.
Ha, who am I kidding.

Okay everything is fucking confusing.


I have learnt that I should never trust a person so damn it quickly when I barely know much about her/him. (I should use the word 'her' as example but it refers to both genders so I guess I just put both.)

By the way! I just 'wrote' about how I feel about relationships with people like friendship and kinship and all those shit that I thought of in my mind.
Actually the definition is simple but the real thing is fucking complicated.
But guess what, life is all about shit and stuff.

Oh ya, in Charmed Paige said it is okay to hate.
Sort of agree with her, but her definition for 'hate' for that case is different.
Because Prue died, Piper couldn't live her live properly.
Like, she goes demon hunting everyday and instead of demons hunting her, she hunt demons.
(She's behaving like a demon)
Then when she hunt a demon call Fury, she got attacked by it and turned into a Fury.
A Fury kills a criminal. Like shoplifters or murders. All criminals.
But Fury is a bad creature, so they had to extinguish the Furys.
So Phoebe used Cole as bait and the Furys, including Piper, came.
Then Leo came and orb Paige and Piper to where Prue is buried at.
Paige told Piper it is okay to hate Prue for leaving Piper alone and not caring about how Piper will feel.
Piper cried like crazy when Prue died.
Prue is so nice and all, understandable why Piper and Phoebe cried until like mad.

I wonder if Paige will live with Piper and Phoebe.
I wish they get along better. But Paige can never replace Prue.
Although Piper can. But Phoebe will have to replace Piper and Paige replace Phoebe.
Sound so confusing.
OKAY I GO WATCH CHARMED NOW BYE!