I'm here to blog! :)
I wish that my sister and Crystal's O levels will end soon so that we can hang out like we used to cause I am bored at home and want to go out shopping.


Two more days and I get back my results and have dance training.
Don't feel like going for dance but I don't have a choice.
And I am nervous about getting back my results cause I might not do well enough and I am not really confident. :/



30 days of reflection

Day 3, a picture of you and your friends.



My sister is not exactly my friend but Crystal is!
Good enough already, I don't exactly like taking pictures.
I look ugly but I don't care. :)

I'm not perfect, and will never, never be.




I saw a picture (not picture above) done by this talented girl and I can't help but think of myself as a useless person.
I'm not great at dancing. I'm not exactly pretty. I'm not kind and nice to people. I bitch and whine a lot. I am not content. I am not clever. I have really lousy character. I just suck overall.

I don't know why but it just never seem to be enough.
It's like I'm a puppet and people are laughing at me like I am a joke when I am trying so hard to stand back up and kick asses that bullied me but I just can't. I just can't explain how I am feeling right now. It's like I got kicked down a staircase mentally and I lay there needing a helping hand but everyone just came and take a look at the girl that fell on the hard solid floor and laughing. And you may not see it, but it is driving me nuts just thinking about getting up, let alone doing it.

I did not have a good day today.




I'm not gonna deny. I had a cheerless day.
I don't think it is about anything that happened today.


I was chatting with mom about how unhappy and happy I was and suddenly remembered I have nothing to be happy about.
I have parents, I have siblings, I have some friends, I have myself, I have sufficient money, I have food, I have a house, I have electronic gadgets to keep me company. So what is wrong?


-30 days of reflection

Day 2, the meaning behind your blog name. I feel that sadness is not just sadness. It had rhythm and beat to it.
Life is like a song, and sadness is just a part of the song we go through, even when we hate it, we cannot forward the song.

30 days of reflection.

-Day 1, A recent picture of you and 15 interesting facts about yourself.



Firstly, I saw this reflection challenge thing at 15storeysdown.tumblr.com and I don't think the owner will look at my blog at all but still I am bored and though I don't think anyone will care about what I blog so I blog everything and anything I want to. So here goes:
















I just took this one hour ago.
I know, my specs looks very ugly. But I don't care I always look like this at home. Aiya no one cares lah. Just read the post and ignore the picture if you hate my face so much. And if you hate the post then don't come to this site. :)




Fact 1: I am pretty self-absorbed.
Fact 2: My screen protector for my phone is screwed up though I love my phone.
Fact 3: I like taking pictures but I don't have much chances.
Fact 4: I love my family.
Fact 5: I don't like this complicated world.
Fact 6: I am a big fan of Harry Potter the movie.
Fact 7: I am aware that I am not liked by many people.
Fact 8: I am lazy at times.
Fact 9: I believe that there is no prince charming in this world.
Fact 10: I am bad at accepting human flaw. Unless you are a good friend of mine.
Fact 11: I am a Christian.
Fact 12: I am short but I do not mind.
Fact 13: I like my room. When it is not messy.
Fact 14: I used to rely too much on friends and when they move away I fell and knock my head so hard I woke up.
Fact 15: I love all colors.

LAST MAJOR PAPER DOWN, WHOOHOO!

Today's examination is maths paper two, and coincidentally, the o level students are also taking maths paper two. Good luck to you all! It's little late though cause the exam ended one hour ago.



Well in any case, I am so much for relaxed and I can finally start partying.
Though I have no one to party with cause my sister is still having exams and she is gonna drag me to study with her this Saturday after my financial literacy thing.
She'll be teaching me about secondary 3 maths so it will not be too tough for me next year.
Sweet of her to do this but it's holiday and this is her way of torturing me.
Just kidding.

I am excited and nervous about getting back our report books on 12 November.
Excited cause I want to know how I scored and nervous cause I may fail a lot of subjects and hopefully not english.


Being a student is stressful.
Maybe I am not yet mature, but I definitely know that I am trying my best to be as responsible and as brave as I can because I don't know how long I can hang on to somebody with a tape with her and without realising, further tearing apart our friendship when she can easily mend back this shattered friendship.
I need to be responsible to keep my family from breaking down.
I have to be as brave as possible cause I have no idea which day my parents or sister is gonna pack their luggage and leave.
I don't wish that to happen but some things are just inevitable.


One day we will look back at our lives and see our foolishness and stupidity.
But people should turn back and look at our happiness instead of regretting choices.

She's so pretty!

Life is like a flight of staircase each of us climb.
We might slip and fall at times and still are able to get back up.
But unfortunate people may fall and become paralyzed.
Good thing they can go through several sessions to help them get back up on their foots and start going up the stairs again.
Sometimes the staircase can be decorated beautifully.
While some other times, it can be extremely creepy and dark.
During those times, we hope to find a torch, a candle or any sort of light source you can find.
I found God.



I realised some people blog at night, to summarise their day and how awful or how great it was.
There is this blogger which I tune in to every other days and I figured she blogs every day at roughly 8pm. So I only go to her blog and check at 8 past going 9pm.
I think I don't have a specific time as to when I will blog. I blog whenever I can or want to.


Yesterday I went out with my sister and mom to church at night.
It was fun, as I get to know others' experiences after they've became a Christian.
And one of them only get to know God at the age of 60!
They are bunch of really cool old people, and are great believers.
I am inspired by them as they are very proud when sharing their journey with God.
I like these gatherings. It's fun. :)


Before church me and my sister when to McD's to eat.

Hi talking tom!

This picture is inspired by whoever that started this. I forced my sister to do this. I was too bored!

Back of my sister's ipod with emgraved word from her boyfriend.
Darn good brownie, mmmmm...
Don't ask how I got this sticker.
Sister super engrossed in playing tap tap, I think.



Lastly, a picture of me taken long time ago.












Hi I am Angeline your typical school girl with crazy hair and small eyes. :( I really don't like my small eyes.

My home econs work.

I have already run out of people to trust.

Tomorrow's EOY paper is tested on GEOGRAPHY.
I am not in the mood to study, again.

So I came to this tiny space of mine and talk about my previous days.



We all breakdown once in a while, cry and empty your hearts.
At least I do that.
It has been a habit for me to stop and rest after a huge battle with life.

One can go through a lot and still hang on and not cry.
But I am not one of them.
I am not tough. I break at the slightest knock. I am fragile.
I get that everyone has their own secrets, own problems.
But somehow, I wish that when I care for people, they will care for me when I need to be cared.
However, because I see too many people that are so double faced, I found out the ugly truth that it is like trying to find a fish that can survive on dry land for a long period of time, humans cannot be 100% trusted.
It is hard to distinct evil from good people.
Often, victims look like culprits and culprits look like victims.

We all need someone to be our rock sometimes.
So that we can lean on and rest.
But is it for sure that one can find a soul mate that understands you more than yourself?
I don't know.
But I am willing to take a risk and find out who is a sincere friend, and who isn't.

I mean it when I say I don't know who to trust.
Don't tell me "oh you can trust me!" It makes me not want to trust you. Don't ask why. I don't know either.



Alright I have to go now.
Take good care everyone. I hope everyone's got their own soul mate to talk to.

That's my chinese name. :)


2nd day of examination, all language papers done.
I hope that it will turn out good. Really. I am tired of being a constant disappointment and I am tired of feeling sad because of my results.


I hope EOY can pull up my MYE grades by a lot I will be able to get into the class I want. :)




A short post cause I have to go study.


I blog to express, not to impress. -Fiona

I HAVE ULCERS! :(

I wonder what people do when they are annoyed cause when I am annoyed I'll try to not care about it and it just keeps growing and end up I will start throwing tantrums at everybody and I DON'T CARE.



Yes I am annoyed RIGHT NOW. THIS INSTANT.
I am just so irritated by everyone around me and myself.
I don't understand. I want to study but when I need tutoring, everyone disappeared, or that they are "busy" with FACEBOOK.

OH, SO THAT CAN'T WAIT BUT MY DAMN FUTURE CAN?
FUCK NO.


And I have every reason to panic cause it is quite an important exam as if I don't get good grades I will not be able to get to the class I want to get in and I will be so depressed I might go kill myself.
I MEAN IT.


And stop telling me that God will be disappointed I know He would be I am trying hard too but nothing is going right.
I am going to burst. Literally.





FUCK MY LIFE TO THE MAXIMUM.

Maths is boring. :/




I loved maths.
I stop loving it when I am secondary one.
Because I do not understand a single thing Ms Chng said.

Yeah my dad is AWESOME at maths.
And I inherited from my dad a lot, eyes, nose, mouth, height, character, almost everything.
Even laziness towards studies.
But thank god my mom came in and gave me a bit of interest for studies. Which kind of helped like, A LOT.


And by saying "Oh I love my parents so the very much!" is just not enough for my parents and myself.
I decided to prove it to them my love for them by achieving A1s, hopefully.

And I did a lot a lot of maths exercises, but still, I can't conquer math.
I sought help, but nope, I can't befriend math.

I AM SCREWED MANZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!

BTW, I changed number. Get my number through MSN or during recess or after school. :)

Anne Hathaway.

Live like there ain't no tomorrow.

Girls and boys, fat or slim, tall or short, charming or ugly, old or young, physically fit or disabled, YOU ARE LOVED.



No fucking way. I passed my self test for math but fail the one Mrs Chng gave.
Oh no I'm gonna flunk my math test! T.T

By the way, I'll be mugging this whole week, so I won't be going out.


God loves me a lot a lot a lot. :D

Giving up is not an option, Angeline Chua. Give it your best damn shot.

Taeyeon from SNSD aka Girl Generation.

I wasn't intending to blog cause I'll be hitting the sack in 10minutes time so I won't be restless tomorrow in school.
I'm trying to not be so easily irritated. I am going to be awesome and considerate. I'll try.


Well, today is another boring school day.
Not fun. But well, we have to work hard as exams are really really near.

"I throw my homeworks up in the air sometimes, saying ayoooooooooooooooo. I lazy to dooooooooooo." -Syaffy

"Can my brain be more absorbent? Please, I really need it." -Shaffy

5DAYS MORE TO EOY EXAMS! :/

I always have something nice to blog about in the morning and when I am home, I forgot EVERYTHING.

She's so purty!










Hot hot hot!


I hate the damn weather.





Well hello. Anyone revising?
I am aware that after 6days, examinations will start.
I'm feeling a mixture of happiness and fear.
Happy because finally the year's ending and we get to RELAX.
Fearful because I am not properly armed and it'll be awkward for I might be spending the first 5 minutes brain farting.
And I am afraid I'd have to throw in the white flag and surrender.
Or I may be so tired due to major mugging the previous night I did not have a good night sleep and use the time given for completing the test to complete my sleep.


And I will pray during examination, hoping God will help me.
I am not sure how God can help, but I sure hope He's willing to.




I kind of wonder what others are doing past few weeks.
Were they studying?
Were they slacking?


I kind of really hope I pass with beautiful 'A's on my result slip. But this hope of mine seem so close, yet so far to reach.



The best way is to turn around, and walk away.
I am a very competitive person. And I LOVE to win.
But that does not mean when I am defeated, I become a sore loser and accuse you for cheating or whatever.
I feel that it is plain stupid and underhanded as you are, actually, the one cheating.
This applies in most circumstances. During a competition, conflict between two or more friends, family, whoever.
I was a sore loser, but I don't exactly accuse anybody for cheating. I just give attitude to my competitor, which is wrong and I tend to regret deeply afterward.
Turning my back towards a useless, trivial matter makes me realize that I am actually avoiding unhappiness.
I don't like unhappiness, and I believe nobody likes it.
Pride is one of my weakness, and stubbornness and senselessness and blah blah blah. Loads more.
I cannot be flawless. I cannot please everyone. I can only make myself happy by making wise choices, and giving up bad ones.

No one can make somebody change. You yourself have to be willing to do so or else no one can help you. Not even God as your heart is closed to everyone.

I sometimes like to keep to myself and think.

I guess I am still improving, I still need reminders to get rid of unreasonableness.

I WANT I WANT I WANT!

I WANT PRETTY ACCESSORIES AND CLOTHES!

Yes I guess you can say that I am someone who loves pretty things and is MATERIALISTIC.
Nope, not something to be proud of.

Especially when I like nature a lot a lot, but because of my greed and lust, I buy loads and loads of random crap which I do not need.
What a waste of resources!


I believe that God created everything we needed and, well, man modified it and sadly, resources are wasted for our love for things that we already have, but we want it because it is nicer.
I cannot criticize anybody as I sometimes melt when I see something I like.
I need to improve. T.T





EXAMS' COMIN', GUYS! EVERYONE THAT PUT IN EFFORT I HOPE YOU GET GREAT GRADES AND GET INTO A GOOD CLASS!

Remember, you reap what you sow. :)

I am usually bored at home. And I don't do my homework. I use FACEBOOK, like most people.
I want to score well for my exam and get into a good class next year.



"You only fail when you give up."
"Everybody has special strengths and flaws." -Sherlyn Leo's blog.




I love hair bands!
I saw this teacher from school (I think she's a temporary teacher) wearing a blue color pearl hair band. And she look fabulous.


So today me and my sister used the computer together and chatted while drinking 'teh c beng'.
Yeah, I admit I do have an awesome sister.
Went to popular with her today and bought loads of stationary.


I HATE MY PUFFFFFFFY EYES! :(

Que je t'aime by DoraLovey from deviantART

ZERO GRAVITY.

Life is like gravity. Whenever you want to soar higher, it pulls you back each time.


Hi people.
Bad things happen everyday, be it huge or tiny ones.
But do keep in mind that great things do happen daily too.
Think positive.
(Yes I am trying hard to manipulate myself to be more positive and you should all do it if you are pessimists cause I am.)


THERE IS COMMON TEST TOMORROW AND I TRIED DOING ONE EXERCISE ON MY ASSESSMENT BOOK BUT THERE ARE A TON OF QUESTIONS I DO NOT UNDERSTAND!

I'm gonna cry tomorrow during math common test and keep worrying about it during the weekends and will have a terrible break.




I am somebody that usually don't think twice before acting. Sometimes it is good but most of the times it makes the situation blooooooody.
It always make me regret after those words exited my mouth and wish it can be stuffed right back.

Someone told me that I am someone that may beat around the bushes at times, but in the end I will still spill the beans. Is that a good thing? I don't know.


I have been staying up late these few days and I am sooooooo wornnnnnnnnnn outtttttttttttttttt...


Ciao, everybody!
People that are having examinations soon, good luck! :)

Picture by psychicLexa from deviantART.

As usual, I went home right away after school.
Will be going out with mom and sister later on. For now I'll just spend my time away on the computer. No I am not going to do my work yet because I am very sleepy. :/


I guess I'm very emotional today. And it sucks. Big time.


I like knowing that I am good at something so I will not feel like a useless loser.
I am not creative, not clever, not beautiful, not kindhearted.
I am discontented, gloomy, sorrowful at times.
I try my best to be positive. It does work at times but when it doesn't, I will throw tantrum at people out of frustration.
I don't mean to, but I feel like I left my body when I am maddened.
Rage is my weakness.



Okay, let's talk about my future right now.

Next year I'll be a secondary 3 student and I am still deciding which subjects to choose.
History or Geography?
A math or POA?
I should just let nature take it's course.

I'M STARVING!

BOYCOTT
[boi-kot]

–verb (used with object)

1. to combine in abstaining from, or preventing dealings with, as a means of intimidation or coercion: to boycott a store.

2. to abstain from buying or using: to boycott foreign products.

–noun

3. the practice of boycotting.

4. an instance of boycotting.

I am going to boycott my computer one day.
But I can't do it because I can't bear to leave it alone.
But it's an important exam!
Should I or should I not?



By the way, I am still thinking of whether to go to 3e1 or 3e2.
But then the thing is what if I cannot get into both classes? Or worse, I get laterally transferred to NA. (No offense whatsoever)


I am THIRTEEN DAYS away from EOY and I am still slacking almost everyday. At least I studied a little today.
But at this rate, I will never pass with flying colors. I'd prolly only get just passes.

I am going to write out my plan for exam, and hopefully I will follow them.


Before exam, I should:

1. Go home study instead of going out till late at night.
2. No more facebook, twitter or games.
3. Pack my room.
4. Revise every subject, not only the ones I am weak in.
5. If I don't know how to do a question, consult somebody that knows, like a teacher or sister.
6. Memorize letter formats for Chinese and English.
7. Do more science questions.
8. Must must must revise history and geography.
9. Sleep early.


During the exam, I should:

1. Check, double check.
2. Manage time well and keep track of it.
3. Skip difficult questions, get back to it later.
4. Do not panic. Be calm.
5. DO NOT SLEEP IN EXAM.
6. Sleep early.
7. Don't overstress myself.
8. Don't think of other things. Focus on exams.


After exams, I will:
1. HAVE FUN!
2. Relax!
3. Don't worry about my results yet!
4. USE THE COMPUTER!


I hate the before and during plan. And I am kind of hoping it works cause I usually will go play instead. :/




I guess school today is fun.

This morning I was kind of tired so I kind of daydreamed the whole first period.
After recess I am more awake so I kind of listened during English lesson.
We did sewing during home econs and I think my file holder is ruined by myself.
We met the Australians today during enrichment. They are AWESOME.
I love their way of teaching. It is interesting. I really enjoyed it.


I guess this concludes my day at school.
Boring, I know.
Ya partly cause I am anti social. :/
Not that I want to be boring, I just don't like to socialize with people.
And I am someone that is easily irritated, even if it is just somebody touching my pens without my permission. I mean, it belongs to me. If you want it, buy la! But that's so unfriendly so I kept quiet. And I really hate it when I am very busy and somebody keeps talking to me. But its rude to ask somebody to shut up so I, again, kept quiet. But when I am extremely bored I will keep pestering Carol or Sherlynn or whoever unlucky cause sitting beside or near me.
I have a weird character. :(

Do you guys think I should try out other blogging spots instead of blogger?

I am gonna treat blogging more seriously because I have no where else to dump my vents at.


So I just had my humanities test this morning and I guess I did okay. But I definitely need to study hard to get beautiful 'A's written on my result slip for end-of-year examination. After school I went to Yoshinoya with Linda and Carol and had lunch. After that I came home as I might be going out with mommy at 7pm. I cannot say today is a good day because my mind was occupied by something that had happened few days back and I still cannot get over it. Though I tried my hardest to get it off my mind by focusing on playing floor ball during pe, it did not leave me. Instead, I got so freaked out by that incident I almost cried on that spot.
I am really sorry that I seemed so moody during school and probably made my friends a little moody as well. I tried my best to stop worrying as it should be my imagination. Oh god I am going crazy.


There are no free meals given without having to pay consequences. I learned that the hard way. We all have to pay for want we want, using what we possesses like money when you are buying clothes, food or things we want. But sometimes we have to pay something greater than money. Something like happiness. We have to give up happiness for our own selfish acts at times. We may even end up hurting people we love. But when the harm is done, we can't do anything when we regret.


I wish I can blog more but I don't feel like it cause of this big thing that blew up my entire world.








Easier said than done.