I'm sad because I disobeyed God. I procrastinated.



I just, really want my dream to come true.
Amount of energy I have for wanting to complete my dream can run around the whole Earth.
I tried everything but there are so many obstacles.
I prolly didn't try hard enough.
I prolly am too slow.
I need to keep praying. Hopefully God can feel my sincerity.

Amen.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO RACHEL ANG!

I went to the used textbook program today.
I feel very satisfied for helping people out today and helping myself too.
Reached home at approximately 3pm as it was raining heavily and had lunch/dinner after a nice bathe.


I feel guilty. But I know my situation and I sort of need it.
I mean, it is his fault but I do not want him to be punished.
I don't know, maybe I am a bad person.

Toodles people!

I will never be alone because God is here.





I didn't go to dance practice today because my back is hurting like... Crap.
I'm actually very scared that it might snap. So I will be resting for now. And I am just a reserve so I don't think I matter much in the dance.
Prolly need to get MC to prove but I have no idea how to get one for backache.
I will practice a little at home so I won't be the only one that doesn't know how to dance the steps.
I really am old.


Year 2010 will soon be history and I learn a lot in this year, and hopefully next year I will be more sensible and make better choices.

Turn up for all church services because when everybody doubts you, bullies you, give up on you, despise you, God always believe in you, care for you, not giving up on you and love you.

Study daily, and I know many people will not believe I would, but I will prove to them I can study hard and get good grades. I want everybody that bet I will not do well next year wrong, and to do my parents and God proud.

Make a schedule and stick to it.

Love my enemies, love people that stayed even when I made wrong choices and was despised by almost everyone more.

Studies are more important than recreations.

Putting everything behind studies, family and, most importantly, God.

Learn to appreciate people and things that I have more.

The list goes on and on. Too much to list.
I have a lot to do today. Hopefully I will complete it all in time.


I will never be alone because God is here.

OM NOM NOM NOM NOM!
HAI. I am Angeline and I love my sister's prom dress.
I couldn't take a nice picture of it because I am a lousy photographer. I have no talent.


I on my computer few moments ago and it is 7.33pm now.
Nothing much happened and hopefully nothing bad will happen during the whole of december holiday.

Guess what? I have new FB profile picture!
Credits to Fiona for taking the picture and adding effects to the picture!


I went to dance today and it was raining and I did not bring an umbrella so I ended up being soaked during dance class and I am so glad to have a nice warm bath when I reach home. After I was out of the shower, mom bought me rice and it was scrumptious. Thanks, ma! Then I stayed in moma's room and listen while she sing. She just went out a while ago. Dad's watching tv and laughing. Pretty nice!


Putting in effort to reach success.

I'm not sure about life, about love, about you.

Hey y'all!
I went to Northpoint and bought 2 new shirts and a necklace from Cotton On. :)

I'll be having dance practice on tuesday, wednesday, thursday and friday. What kind of holiday is this.
We are training for SYF and I think everybody will be involved.
Also, we are training for Secondary 1 orientation to attract more students to join Chinese Dance. Only some people are involved and I am extremely glad I was not chosen because I rather sit around and look at them practice. :X
I actually suck at dancing so most of the time I am not chosen.


I really don't like it when people are negative and upset. I know I have been put in those situations when you really don't feel like living anymore and you feel useless and a burden. I get it when you find "burden shared is burden halved" bullshit and that it should actually be "burden shared is burden doubled" due to loads of reasons. But life is so short and it's such a waste for being upset and suicidal over stupid people and problems. I've only lived around a quarter or less of my life and I'll still have more problems coming my way. So cheer up and say "fudge you to agony" and be happy.

I'm feeling happy today. It was raining just now but that's okay. I am more careless nowadays so I'll have to be more cautious. So overall it's a beautiful day today. :)

A heart that is partially permeable? Mine.
I let some people get in to my heart, and some times push them out.
Some times I let the wrong people get in and push the right people out.
I find out eventually at times but some times i don't.
Some how I stop trusting people I just know for a while so I don't get back stabbed but then I don't trust them so they don't trust me. It's a crazy thing, trust.



I know You can do it, God. You will help me. I'm begging You, please.

Thanks to those who hated me, you made me a stronger person. Thanks to those who loved me, you made my heart bigger. Thanks to those who envied me, you made my self-esteem grow. Thanks to those who cared, you made me feel important. Thanks to those who worried, you let me know that you care. Thanks to those who left, you showed me that not everything is forever. Thanks to those who stayed, you showed me the meaning of true friends. Thanks to those who entered my life, you made me who I am today. -Fiona's blog.

I am a stronger person, have a big heart, self absorbed, know that nothing in everlasting but I don't feel important or cared for or the true meaning of friends because I don't have much.

I injured myself during dance and out of a sudden, I've no idea why I got two bruises. Angel say my veins burst. Okay, don't laugh. Actually, I laughed at her too, until she gave me that serious face so I try to believe her. I still doubt her but she experienced before so, I believed. I think it's still funny. -Rachel's blog

Not exactly vein burst, is blue black but blue black is caused by the little veins that "burst". If too much blood you will have blood clot when the blood dry inside. But I still don't know why your blue black is green. :X



I want something and I will do everything for it but there is just so little that I can do to just increase only a little percentage of obtaining it.


Went for dance this morning and I look so blur cause I did not attend the previous practice. After dance I had mac with Rachel and went home for a nap. Woke up at 8pm and I am still a bit tired.

I will do everything and pray for God's help everyday.

I will be going for a haircut while my sister will be dyeing her hair tomorrow. :)
Hopefully I will take pictures.
Orlesson is so annoying. I want to do my work but it keeps crashing.


I miss my primary school friends. :/


Things happen for many reasons. Maybe one day you will realise and maybe you will never find out why.
You can never always get what you want.
Don't be too glad when you are better than a person. There can still be millions and billions of people better than you.

One message, awaiting.

No point dreading or regretting. Time will never rewind. Move on.


I really need to change my facebook and twitter picture soon. :/

I am at home alone today. Mom will only come back before 10pm and sister I don't know when. Bored.
I like to sing.

I have nothing else to blog about anymore. :(

I am upset. Yes I wish somebody is by my side now.


I got promoted to 3 Express.
I was, initially, happy. But then I looked inside. What a mess! Tons of numbers underlined in black beside most of it wrote D7.
Oh great. My dream burst right in front of me. I keep hoping that it will come true but sadly it didn't.
Yes I am lucky to get into express. But what I what is not only that.
I'm going to pray extra hard and do more miles than others to get God's help.
Because I know I cannot make it without Him.
I wish I can touch Him for Him to help. I am so desperate for help now I can just do anything.
More homework. 100 isn't a problem. Really. But I'm thinking where to get them though.


I'll clear all my assessment books. All.
Even primary school's because I lack resources. :X


Good luck to me. :/

I'M SUPER DUPER CRAZY AND NERVOUS!
Will be getting my results tomorrow and I am extremely nervous I will drop to NA!

I did not go for dance because of cramps and headache. :/
I kind of am glad but guilty for not turning up.



I will be praying very hard tonight.
I hope everyone else will do well! And hope you all will get into the class you want!


You are unique and precious. When you try to value yourself for being the best in something, you are bound to fail. Even Olympic champions are the best only for a few years. You are precious to God not because there is no one better than you, but because you are a unique creation of mind, body and spirit, there is no one like you, and that is exactly what makes you so indescribably precious. :)




I've done some of my e learning.

I'M SUPER DUPER CRAZY AND NERVOUS!


I did not go for dance because of cram

truths will be uncovered.



In one day we can discover a lot of things we didn't know from all sorts of ways.
Choices were also made, that prevent or pull us closer to the truth.
Decide, choose, stand firm and do not change. I want to be like that. Sadly I don't do that. I keep changing and I cannot stick to my choices.
I know too much, but yet, too little as well.

I want too much. I ask for too much. I don't deserve this much. I don't want too much. I want a simple life.
Yes, so I found out I am somebody that can't live without drama.
So I am going to start afresh. Or at least, hope to start afresh.
Isolating myself from the crowd can be a good idea but there are more choices and I believe I can leave this for God to decide. I can count on Him.



I will pray every night. It's a vow.

I found out I am not as innocent as I was when I was a child. I've seen too much of cruelty in life and I am no longer having fun.


I wish I am clear-headed too.
I wish to develop my own style.
I wish for God to hear and help me accomplish my dreams and prayers.
I wish I will never make a enormous drama again.
I wish for world peace.
I wish for global warming to stop.
I wish that tomorrow's dance practice will be fun.
I wish for more people to be happy.
I wish to spread God's words.
I wish to smile more and be happy.



I should really end this post soon. I'm having dance practice tomorrow. I'm not particularly excited but I still have to attend so, good luck to me.

LOVE YOUR ENEMIES.

INSPIRATION[in-spuh-rey-shuhn]

1. an inspiring or animating action or influence: I cannot write poetry without inspiration.

2. something inspired, as an idea.

3. a result of inspired activity.

4. a thing or person that inspires.

5. Theology

a. a divine influence directly and immediately exerted upon the mind or soul.

b. the divine quality of the writings or words of a person so influenced.

6. the drawing of air into the lungs; inhalation.

7. the act of inspiring; quality or state of being inspired.

"I'm still freaking scared about my EOY results." -Rachel's blog.
Me too! Good luck to you, Rach. :)

"I DON'T LIKE MY CCA. I DON'T LIKE THIS SCHOOL. I DON'T LIKE THAT PARTICULAR TEACHER. " -Rachel's blog.

"I always pray for life to be easy and now I must pray for myself to be stronger."Rachel's blog.


I love quoting. :)



Life had been quite boring lately. All I did was dance, going to school for dance or check my exam papers, sleep, use the computer, a little e learning work, eat, and other random crap.

I'm quite awake now, and have nothing to do. I should start folding my laundry.
I'm getting back my results soon, and I'm extremely nervous.
Lots of questions fill my mind and it's starting to affect my life. It can't be helped.


There are so many things I have to put down and walk away from.
But I feel that I'm not ready. But time is slowly slipping away. I don't wish to drag, but I have too much doubts I need to clear out.
I took granted of the privilege for being in a first world country, where living condition is good and where we can have education in a nice environment. We have new books easily obtained from book stores and computer to do our projects. We have buildings for us to stay in and proper clothes to wear. Food can be bought at nearby coffee shops or at restaurants or many other places.
I am aware that I'm in a very comfortable position, and will not need to worry much about money because my family earns enough, though I am not rich.
But I neglected these, and my responsibilities as a student and as a human being.
I forgot that I didn't come to this world with water within my reach and clothes in my wardrobe or teachers right at my doorsteps. My parents earn them for me. And one day, I will have to earn money for their needs and wants, like how they did.
I don't want to be a disappointment anymore.



I was very inspired when I read Rachel's blog. It's so nice for her to blog after a while although being quite busy.
I wonder if I will have a much meaningful day tomorrow. Weird.


Alright, shall go now. Goodbye readers!
Do I really have readers? Oh well nevermind.

I won't be blogging about 30 days of reflection today as I don't feel like it.


When one finally found out that what he have been chasing after for ages wasn't as amazing as he had imagined, he will feel lost, vulnerably trapped and clueless.
Some times in life, there are things that are so difficult to solve, so out of hand, so heartbreaking, so disappointing, so frustrating and these just keeps going on and on.
But some other times in life, there will be things so fascinating, so strangely delighting, so unthinkably beautiful, so heartwarming and these also keeps going on and on.


We meet different people everyday. We pass by people as we walk to our destinations, meet people at gatherings and neighbours living next door. So many ways to meet other human beings. It is extremely overwhelming when you found out the person you trust so much did not care, when the one you wish to be with doesn't think the same way, the one you do not want to be in contact with poke their noses into your businesses. I personally find humans scary. But I still believe we are all just the same inside, wanting love, friendship and kinship. No one is filled with hatred when he was born.




Clear account of what I did today:
I woke up early today and chatted a while with my sister as I have a packet of instant noodles.
She went out shortly to have her o level examination. God bless her. I had an hour nap as I stayed up late last night and was extremely exhausted. Woke up at roughly 9.30am, and prepared to meet Rachel for breakfast and dance training in the afternoon. I left house at 11am sharp, and reached Ang Mo Kip MRT station at about 11.30am. Rachel reached at 12pm, and we went to pepper lunch for breakfast. After that, we took bus 86 to school and reached school on time. We started the training. It was tiring but the dance is quite nice. I guess I'm looking forward to other dance lessons, but I need to train the warm up positions at home. I guess it was not as bad as I thought, as usually I dread going for dance trainings and, sometimes, don't turn up for practice. Well, I guess I'm not a good student, but I'm learning to. I took bus 852 home, and bought food on my way home. After dinner, I bathe and turn on my computer to relax. I am so worn out I will fall asleep once I lie down on my bed! It sure was a beautiful day. Don't we all love these days?


Cheers!

I am not willing to sharing my thoughts to people anymore. It gets all twisted up and passed around.



Tomorrow we will be going back to school to check our exam papers.
Naturally, most people will be worried and afraid. I know I am.
But a tiny amount of people are quite confident.

I get it now. I know what I want right now and I will walk towards that.


30 days of reflection.
Day 4, a habit you wished you didn't have.


I wish I don't keep watching shows on funshion and stay up late. :/